Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.9, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # FAMILY COUNSELING CENTER ASSOCIATION Affordable Professional Counseling Services in Arlington, Texas ## Sitemaps - [XML Sitemap](https://family-counseling.org/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website. ## Posts - [Saying "I Told You So"](https://family-counseling.org/saying-i-told-you-so/) - This is never a good idea. It's usually said to crow about the speaker being right while the other person is wrong. And maybe she is wrong, but by saying you knew better all along, you only trigger defensiveness in the other person and--worse--you become a distraction. Whether this involves a friend, a partner or a - [Don't Distract Your Kid](https://family-counseling.org/dont-distract-your-kid/) - Parenting is tough and even when they are adults, we parents want to tell our kids to "Watch out!" when a waterfall is ahead or a big stumbling block we see with flashing neon signs. Be it job or romantic partners, we feel the need to warn our children of trouble in front of them. The problem - [Roommate Marriage](https://family-counseling.org/roommate-marriage/) - Every so often, couples find themselves--or choose--a marriage that isn't romantic. Usually not physical, these marriages may be chosen out of financial need or a desire for companionship not accompanied by the desire for physical intimacy. Often, however, the roommate marriage isn't chosen by both partners and clearly defined. I usually see partners who are unsatisfied that - [Why I Don't Call No-Show Clients](https://family-counseling.org/why-i-dont-call-no-show-clients/) - Short answer? Because it's the client's right to decide when they come in and when they don't. Of course, no-showing or multiple cancellations in less than 24 hours means I won't be able to hold the client's appointment time and may not give them first call on rescheduling. I might not reschedule them, at all. - [You're Not Nuts](https://family-counseling.org/youre-not-nuts/) - I am frequently told by new clients that they're afraid they are nuts. With symptoms of anxiety and depression--often aided by a Google search that turns up distressing diagnoses--clients often come into my office thinking they are crazy. While I don't specialize in those who are out-of-touch with reality, I've seen my share throughout the duration of my - [Not Done Yet...](https://family-counseling.org/not-done-yet/) - This is graduation and wedding season. This is a good time to address an important subject. There's something going on that we ought to talk about. Many members of our society have embraced an "achievement obsession" mentality. Those who haven't devoted their lives to achieving have often fallen into the "loser" category, some giving up and giving in. - [ADDICTED TO ACHIEVEMENT](https://family-counseling.org/addicted-to-achievement/) - I have noticed for a while that some very successful, highly-accomplished individuals aren't satisfied with all they've achieved. Doctors, lawyers, folks with Ph.D.s and people who've made a lot of money often seem ancy to achieve more. This is interesting to me, particularly since I often see individuals of this bent on the other end - [Doing Your Part](https://family-counseling.org/doing-your-part/) - When I point out to clients--who feel responsible for their children, mates, siblings and parents--that they are only responsible for doing their part in relationships, they initially think I'm trying to give them a pass. Nope. Doing your part means handling your own stuff, confronting your own delusions and changing your behavior. This is hard - [Staying For The Kids](https://family-counseling.org/staying-for-the-kids/) - In a troubled relationship, this is the reason most frequently given for not getting a divorce/separating. It is also one of the worst reasons. Don't get me wrong, loving your kids and always considering how your choices will effect them is a big part of parenting. But don't let yourself believe that your children aren't impacted - [Relationship Issues & Alcohol](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-issues-alcohol/) - More bad things happen in relationships when couples are drinking. This is not at all to say that everyone who enjoys an alcoholic beverage has a drinking problem. When issues in relationships--and all relationships sometimes have issues--are not dealt with openly and effectively, they tend to rear up ugly heads when alcohol is consumed. Part - [Stupid Emotional Choices](https://family-counseling.org/stupid-emotional-choices/) - As an emotionally-oriented person myself, I'd be the last to say emotions aren't an important part of life. They give color to our world, even if the down moments do suck. There are many highly-logical people who are prone to depression. Everything is gray. Feelings change and can seem unstable, but they are important to us. - [Biology Doesn't Trump Behavior](https://family-counseling.org/biology-doesnt-trump-behavior/) - I think we're confused about this. I hear about individuals who dread family holidays and who've moved across the country to be far away from those to whom they are related. Yet, often when talking to clients who tell me of frustrating or horrific behavior on the part of family members, when I ask why they continue having - [Prepare Your Kids](https://family-counseling.org/prepare-your-kids/) - Parenting is a challenging, at times thankless job, but you're not there to make life easier for your kids. Your job as a parent is to love them and prepare them to fly on their own. Love is a tricky concept, meaning different things to different people, but the big definition is that loving means - [Relationships & Winning](https://family-counseling.org/relationships-winning/) - For many people, competition is fun. We join table tennis and card game groups and love to root for the home team. In relationships, however, winning takes on a new meaning. I've often heard individuals say with confidence--and no irony--that they always win in relationship conflicts. This is a little disturbing because if one individual is - [Beating Anxiety](https://family-counseling.org/beat-anxiety/) - Recently, the number of individuals seeking help for anxiety has risen. Some professionals advocate a combination of drug therapy--some say necessary for a life time--and psychotherapy. I have a problem with anything being "for a life time." Anxiety medications also have a limited effect for many. There are some major psychiatric disorders for which we've - [WHY DO EVIL?](https://family-counseling.org/why-do-evil/) - People do evil things because they don't seem evil to them. This is about as far as we can go to understanding the mindset because it's largely irrational. The people on the German plane didn't deserve to die. As far as we know, none did horrible things to others and yet they were killed. Evil. - [How We Affect Each Other (or The Relationship Dance)](https://family-counseling.org/how-we-affect-each-other-or-the-relationship-dance/) - This reality is a source of power in our relationships. It's what makes us both crave and hate relationships. If you've ever done any kind of partner dancing--ballroom, western or just shuffling together to music--you already know how relationships work. When your partner or you moves, the other person is affected. Unavoidably. Sometimes this is a great affect; sometimes not. Relationships - [Getting The Therapist You Deserve](https://family-counseling.org/getting-the-therapist-you-deserve/) - Going to therapy and talking to a total stranger about very personal things in your life? You deserve a medal for that. Even more so if you go in seeking assistance for a couple issue, because that's even more difficult. I've had clients tell me that they worry their therapist will side completely with their - [PRESSURING OUR YOUNG](https://family-counseling.org/pressuring-our-young/) - Tell me, did you know at twelve or fourteen what you wanted to do for your life career? Kids are now asked this routinely in middle schools because the administration wants to direct them into the "right track." Those who say they want to be mechanics or heating and air conditioning technicians are put in - [CHANGING KIDS](https://family-counseling.org/changing-kids/) - The really great news is that no one is more important to your kids than you. I know it doesn't always seem this way, particularly if you have teens. Your kids care a lot more what you think that they let you know. Just ask the adult children around you who are still trying to impress - [TALKING BACK](https://family-counseling.org/talking-back/) - Of all the behaviors parents tell me they're annoyed by, I'm most confused by the "backtalk" complaint. I think this generally refers to kids smarting off and giving parents a hard time, often over simple requests. I get that. This behavior is very annoying to deal with, but I think we need to find a better way to - [HELPING KIDS GROW UP](https://family-counseling.org/helping-kids-grow-up/) - I am the last parent to tell you to let your kids fly on their on.... Really. I have daughters in medical residency and in internship to complete a Ph.D. in psychology. Their father and I have moved them a total of 20 times since high school--I recently counted. I know what is it to - [BEWARE OF SELF-CONTEMPT](https://family-counseling.org/beware-of-self-contempt/) - A startling number of us struggle with a deep conviction that we aren't good people. Clients in my office--not all there for self esteem issues--insist that they've done (or are doing) very bad things. Things that make them bad people. Let me be clear--we aren't talking about clients who kill other people or animals. Or - [FINDING THE LINE](https://family-counseling.org/finding-the-line/) - Whether with close friends, relatives or mates, the challenge in relationships is finding the line. Being over-involved and intrusive is never our intent, but we want to be loving and supportive. The problem is that the line separating these two can be difficult to see. I am constantly amazed by how completely righteous individuals feel - [NOT BLAMING MOM & DAD](https://family-counseling.org/not-blaming-mom-dad/) - Refreshing, isn't it? Not being blamed for every problem your child has? Let me point out that your intentions are good most of the time (who doesn't occasionally want to strike out before walking away?) Being a parent is a huge job. Really, really huge and since none of us here on this earth are perfect, - [WARNING KIDS! CHOICES FOLLOW YOU!](https://family-counseling.org/warning-kids-choices-follow-you/) - This really isn't a news flash to those of us who've lived awhile in this world, but many kids don't quite get how this works. By now, most have heard that whatever is put on the internet will live there forever. All the naked, semi-naked or drunken shots of you have the potential to rise - [NO SHAME](https://family-counseling.org/no-shame/) - We all know individuals who make glib excuses for even big transgressions, but most of us harbor big shame over some thing. This may be connected to an offense we suffered as a child (no kid is responsible for the behavior of others--I don't care what you did) or we feel shamed by things we've - [THEY REACH THE AGE...](https://family-counseling.org/they-reach-the-age/) - One of the hardest things about parenthood is when your children cease to be children and you can't do a thing with them. Sometimes, it's very difficult to know what to do with them when they are children, but when they become adults, things get even more complicated. When they grow to be adults, we - [FIXING IT](https://family-counseling.org/fixing-it/) - How many times have you fought about stuff with your mate end up solving nothing? Too often is usually the answer. Conflicts don’t get actually settled, you just move on. You get tired of arguing, you have to deal with life—kids, jobs, bills. So, you gradually fall back into being alongside one another. You kiss - [GET OVER ANXIETY](https://family-counseling.org/get-over-anxiety/) - Startling thought, I know. Some people struggle their whole lives with this emotional challenge and I am in no way criticizing them. I do want to offer an alternative to the belief that this is a "brain chemistry" problem you must just accept and that requires life-long medication. When you suffer from anxiety, you just - [BEING ALONE](https://family-counseling.org/being-alone-2/) - This is a huge issue for many. It's nice to have alone time. Some individuals who have busy, demanding lives with lots of people tugging at them, actually crave time alone. Most of us, however, don't want to live our lives without a significant other. It is not at all uncommon for clients--in bad, unhappy - [DON'T BE A HATER](https://family-counseling.org/dont-be-a-hater/) - This is a complicated, often cruel world and it’s really easy to lash out at others. I was struck when recently after Robin William’s suicide that his daughter, Zelda, announced she was getting off social media platforms because she’d been receiving ugly, hateful messages blaming her (somehow) for her father’s sad decision. The issue of - [POWER--WE ALL NEED IT](https://family-counseling.org/power-we-all-need-it/) - Some think power is an ugly word, but we all crave the experience of what we say and do mattering. That's power. There are two kinds--personal power(which we all need) and power in relationships(which is massively important). Every human experience has to do with this need and the biggest misunderstanding comes from thinking you can - [DEPRESSION--WHEN LIFE DOESN'T GET BETTER](https://family-counseling.org/depression-when-life-doesnt-get-better/) - Lots of people have reasons to be depressed--troubled relationships, money problems, loss of a loved one, or poor health. And then some struggle with depression with they have no visible reason to feel so badly. Depression is defined as a loss of pleasure, low mood and low self-esteem. For some time now, the medical and psychiatric establishment has diagnosed - [CAN YOU MAKE IT BETTER?](https://family-counseling.org/can-you-make-it-better/) - I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm don't believe most emotional issues have to last a lifetime. Clients come into my office all the time saying they've been given a diagnosis--usually by a medical person--and told that whatever behavior they are dealing with is disabling and unchangeable. It will last a lifetime. I'm not a big fan - [ SEX IS ABOUT YOU](https://family-counseling.org/sex-is-about-you/) - I'm all for sensitivity and concern about your sexual partner having a really good time, but you can't truly be fulfilled and engaged in the activity if you're not focusing on what you feel. Sex feels good--when done correctly--but it requires you to lose yourself in your own sensation. What you feel when you touch the other person...what you - [BEING ALONE](https://family-counseling.org/being-alone/) - The fear of this is one of the most frequently cited reasons for staying in unhappy relationships. It is very challenging to be with another person--to deal with conflicts and disagreements--but many of us would rather do that than live our lives without a committed partner. Some individuals say they stay in miserable relationships because they've "known each other so - [NEED MARRIAGE COUNSELING?](https://family-counseling.org/need-marriage-counseling/) - The short answer to this is yes, if one partner mentions it. Even if going to counseling comes up in the middle of a fight, even if you make up and everything seems okay afterwards, you probably need counseling. You know how they say that high blood pressure is a "silent killer"? Well, unresolved conflict - [NO INSURANCE? LOW COST, SLIDING SCALE COUNSELING HERE](https://family-counseling.org/no-insurance-low-cost-sliding-scale-counseling-here/) - Sometimes you just need someone to talk to. Someone who doesn't know you or your family. Sometimes, you realize you and your partner fight all the time, even though you still really love each other. We at the Family Counseling Center have professional counselors who'd like to help you sort through these difficulties. Whether you're dealing - [OVER-PARENTING: HOLDING KIDS TOO CLOSE](https://family-counseling.org/over-parenting-holding-kids-too-close/) - Yes, you may be doing this if you don't allow your children to deal with some issues on their own. Most parents love their kids and lots of parents struggle to let their kids fail, but failure is important. How are kids supposed to learn they can make different choices if they don't get the - [THE SECRET TO A GOOD RELATIONSHIP](https://family-counseling.org/the-secret-to-a-good-relationship/) - When my husband was recently headed out on a bicycle ride with a friend, the guy remembered they’d gotten thirsty on their last ride. Without going to ask his wife, he unstrapped two bottle holders from her bicycle and put them on his and my husband’s bikes. When my husband made a comment that this - [DOES COUPLE COUNSELING WORK?](https://family-counseling.org/does-couple-counseling-work/) - How can the person you've built a life with be so annoying? Being in a couple can be exciting, fulfilling and annoying. If only the jerk would listen. Yes, couple counseling can be very helpful, but don't wait too late. The most important aspect of being a couple is being able to resolve issues. All - ["I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING."](https://family-counseling.org/i-get-what-youre-saying/) - I’ve written many blogs about the importance of communication and of listening to your mate, but even when you try your best to listen, it’s not always seen that way. Just ask your partner. So, I thought I’d break this down into some small, vital chunks. When you and your mate disagree on something—money, sex, - [TRYING TO FORGET](https://family-counseling.org/trying-to-forget/) - We humans have amazing minds, but pretending trauma or abuse didn't happen, doesn't erase the impact. It's understandable that we totally want to forget these ugly things happened, particularly because victims often blame themselves. Even when professionals insist they are absolutely not responsible for the horrible things they suffered, victims continue to feel they should have done - [LOW-COST, AFFORDABLE (BUT NOT FREE!) PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING](https://family-counseling.org/low-cost-affordable-but-not-free-professional-counseling/) - Everyone sometimes needs someone to listen. We can do that. We can also help you sort out relationship conflicts and deal with anxiety or anger. Life is challenging sometimes. Give yourself a break and schedule to talk with one of our professionally trained, highly skilled therapists. We want to help. Email us through this site - [NOT ALL MOTHERS ARE LOVING](https://family-counseling.org/not-all-mothers-are-loving/) - "When I was 18 my mother went to prison and I took custody of my younger sisters. I tried to show them the right way to live--working, doing the right thing, staying out of trouble and being contributing members of society. We lived together for 6 years. Eventually Mother got out and the girls went back - [COUPLE COUNSELING--Arlington, Texas](https://family-counseling.org/couple-counseling-arlington-texas/) - Being part of a couple is one of the hardest things to do on this earth. Naturally, there are glitches and we love to help with these. We've been doing the couple thing for a long time and we know many of the pitfalls, as well as, the blessings of being connected to a mate who - [TOO KIND TO KIDS?](https://family-counseling.org/too-kind-to-kids/) - You love them and you want to give your kids everything, but this may be robbing them of the incentive they need to grow. Few things light parents up more than giving their kids gifts that send the kid into sobbing ecstasy. The game system they've been begging for or the new phone they keep - [YOUNG ADULTS--PROPPING, NOT STEERING](https://family-counseling.org/young-adults-propping-not-steering/) - The transition from childhood to adulthood is scary and the fact that we parents have given our children so much, only complicates things. Of course we want to give them stuff. After all, we have stuff. But kids now struggle more than ever to believe in themselves. The hard question for adults--is how much to - [AFFORDABLE, LOW COST COUNSELING](https://family-counseling.org/affordable-low-cost-counseling/) - When dealing with relationship problems or struggling with depression and anxiety, talking to a counselor can help. Even now that more people have catastrophic insurance coverage, huge deductibles can make it hard to fit counseling into your budget. Because of these very real challenges, we offer low cost counseling on a sliding scale, basing your fee on - [JUST LISTEN...](https://family-counseling.org/just-listen/) - Listening doesn't mean offering your opinion, but that's what most of us do. When clients tell me they've listened to their mates or children and then told them what to do, I know the mate or child probably didn't feel heard at all. Clients tell me all the time about their frustration in trying to sort - [SELF-CONSCIOUS?](https://family-counseling.org/self-conscious/) - Guess what? Most people don’t even notice your screw ups, your non-matching socks and your awkward pauses. This can be very hard to believe, but the truth is that most other folk are so caught up in their own stuff, they don’t generally notice yours. While there may have been a handful of beautiful people - [WANT MORE SEX FROM THE WIFE? ](https://family-counseling.org/want-more-sex-from-the-wife/) - Sidle up here and listen closely. You may have lots of stuff going on in your relationship, but most couples who I see have some general themes. While there are women who want more sex from their husbands, it’s more often the reverse. Despite these having shifted some, the sex roles in our society are - [FEELING VICTORIOUS](https://family-counseling.org/feeling-victorious/) - I don't think anyone lives a perfect life. Some are more charmed than others, born into healthy homes with love and no financial hardships, but that still doesn't make living on this earth easy. Even the rich and famous have their challenges and it seems to me that learning how to face these is the - [TEENAGERS & PARENTS](https://family-counseling.org/teenagers-parents/) - Being a teen isn't easy. Being the parent of a teen is really hard, too. Few things are more intimate and up close than being parent and kid. You live together; you see each other at your worst and best. The process of parenting is way complicated when you consider that the kiddo generally came - [FORGIVENESS--TAKING YOUR HAND OFF THEIR THROAT](https://family-counseling.org/forgiveness-taking-your-hand-off-their-throat/) - This business of forgiving others is very tricky. Everyone is sometimes victimized. It's in the nature of this world and, therefore, the issue of forgiveness is big. The offenses done to you can range from being the victim of a crime(robbery, assault, abuse or rape) to facing betrayal by a loved one(being cheated on by a lover or lied to - [TRUE LOVE - NOT ALWAYS PRETTY](https://family-counseling.org/true-love-not-always-pretty/) - I've been married for 35 years and I still like him, which I think gives me the right to discuss this topic, even if I weren't a therapist. Just to be clear, you can love a person and not like him, so the liking part is pretty darned good. Valentine's Day is the time of - [I'M BETTER WITH YOU](https://family-counseling.org/im-better-with-you/) - When I got a fun, new car, a friend asked me for to take him for a ride in it. I did this, but it simply didn't occur to me to offer to let him drive. I'm like that sometimes--clueless. I loved that others enjoyed the car, but it just didn't occur to me to - [ADJUSTING--YOU OR YOUR KIDS?](https://family-counseling.org/adjusting-you-or-your-kids/) - Dr. Carol "Our son Ethan is 3 yrs old and when my husband asks for him to give him a kiss or hug him, he refuses. He will easily give me kisses and hugs though. It seems like they are already starting to butt heads. My husband tends to use an authoritarian style parenting. He - [CAREER CRISES?](https://family-counseling.org/career-crises/) - Making enough to keep a roof over your head and food on the table is good, but the time may come when you want more. Some individuals just fall into jobs and while these fit some, others feel trapped. Some individuals believe they can’t make the same amount of money at any other job. People - [THE RELATIONSHIP POWER SCALE](https://family-counseling.org/the-relationship-power-scale/) - No one wants to talk about power issues in a relationship, but these are typically present and can cause issues if not addressed. When individuals fall in love, they usually don't want to look at the nuts and bolts of issues. When they're focusing on riding off into the sunset together, talking about problems that - [FAMILY ISSUES EXPLODE](https://family-counseling.org/family-issues-explode/) - Put a bunch of relatives together who have unresolved business, add in high expectations and you've got a holiday gathering that results in hurt feelings all around. The most joyous time of the year... If alcohol and firearms are involved, this can be a deadly time of the year. You have the highest expectations of - [RELATIVES YOU LOVE...BUT DON'T LIKE](https://family-counseling.org/relatives-you-love-but-dont-like/) - Holidays don't always bring out the best in families...no matter how hard you may try. This is the time of year when individuals often succumb to the "perfect family" goal. Furniture advertisements abound, as do flooring ads. At this time of year more than any other, we want our homes--and our families--to be perfect. The - [PARENTING: DON'T FREAK OUT](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-dont-freak-out/) - It's easy to recommend not freaking out over everything when you don't have a child. I have two, so I'm safe in saying this, but don't assume I'm saying I've done everything right. So, not the case. Even if the kid is massively annoying (and they all are, at times), parenting carries with it a - [YOU GET THE BEST & WORST](https://family-counseling.org/you-get-the-best-worst/) - Relationships add to your life. Insurance statistics say this--people who are married live longer, but living intimately with another human being is one of the hardest things we humans do. Really smart people have no edge here. Married or not, your partner gets the best...and the worst of you. This is in the nature of - [HAPPY PARTNER?](https://family-counseling.org/happy-partner/) - Although some individuals seem to enjoy a competitive interaction with their mates, you need your partner to win sometimes. Some people work hard to win as many relationship arguments as they can, but this can backfire on you in a big way. If your partner always loses with you, she won't want to be with - [SOMETIMES DEFIANCE FEELS LIKE POWER](https://family-counseling.org/sometimes-defiance-feels-like-power/) - If you've ever been around a two year-old, you've seen defiance. At two and a half years, most children become excellent at saying "No!" From a developmental perspective, we know that kids this age are just learning to separate themselves as individuals. They protest and refuse almost everything and they usually do it loudly. These - [KIDS CRIPPLED BY WEALTH](https://family-counseling.org/kids-crippled-by-wealth/) - "We need direction. Our adult son is living with us. He has been out of work for more than 3 years but is currently attending college ( at our expense) to try to get a technical certification. His past employment required considerable physical labor which he is no longer able to do. He is 52, - [DON'T EXPLAIN TO YOUR PARTNER](https://family-counseling.org/dont-explain-to-your-partner/) - You don't mean to be defensive; you're just trying to explain. In the middle of a relationship conflict, however, no one wants to be explained to. Communication in relationships is often complicated. The most frequent complaint I hear from clients is that their mate doesn't listen. The partner, however, insists he listens. Who's right? It - [LAST DITCH EFFORT--MAKING RELATIONSHIPS LAST](https://family-counseling.org/last-ditch-effort-making-relationships-last/) - I get why people don't come into counseling when they first have trouble in a relationship. It's weird to sit down and talk to a complete stranger about very personal things...besides, you hope it'll just go away. Relationships are complex and vital and, outside of parenting, they're the hardest thing we do in this world. - [PARENT: VERB TO NOUN](https://family-counseling.org/parent-verb-to-noun/) - When your kids were young, you fed them, pulled them out of stuck spots and kept them from running into the street. You changed their pants, talked to their teachers and gave them curfews that they tended to ignore. In the beginning of children's lives, parenting is a verb. It involves lots of sometimes exhausting - [RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE SIMMERING](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-trouble-simmering/) - All couples have disagreements at times, but trouble starts brewing when these conflicts aren't resolved. I mean, resolved so everyone feels understood and satisfied with the outcome. This means that both partners actually hear one another, paying attention to the concerns of both. Everyone comes out of these arguments feeling their issues were aired and seriously considered. - [DON'T BE AFRAID (TO SAY GOODBYE)](https://family-counseling.org/dont-be-afraidto-say-goodbye/) - I've always said that, as a therapist, I'm trying to work my way out of a job. The point of the whole thing is for you to get better, do better, feel better. And not need to come see me anymore. It's really nice to have someone to listen to you--and this is a big - [DON'T JUST ASK](https://family-counseling.org/dont-just-ask/) - When clients sit in my office, explaining their relationship problems, I always ask about their communication and they always tell me that they listen well. I believe that they think they listen, but if their relationship partner is sitting in the session with them when I ask this question, they often shake their heads when I - [RELATIONSHIPS--THE COMPATIBILITY HOAX](https://family-counseling.org/relationships-the-compatibility-hoax/) - Lots of people are looking for love and floundering around about what gives them the best shot at a satisfying, enduring love. After having several failed relationships, they often try to find a mate with whom they share preferences and opinions. This sadly can lead to even more relationship disaster.The trouble is that individuals get - [WHY DO THEY BATTER?](https://family-counseling.org/why-do-they-batter/) - I recently came across a comment that lots of professionals weigh in on why people stay with partners who batter, but not many discuss why batters batter.I'm not going to give you a diagnosis. These are offered up and folks latch on to them. Various labels are often thrown at each other in the manner of weapons. - [SHE SAYS YOU NEVER LISTEN....](https://family-counseling.org/she-says-you-never-listen/) - For a long time I've been talking about the importance of listening to your partner. The urge is to explain your position and most people do this over and over because they don't feel heard by the other person. On the other hand, your mate isn't feeling heard either. So both of you keep repeating - [COMFORTING OTHERS](https://family-counseling.org/comforting-others/) - Being around a grieving person can be really awkward. Whether this individual is mourning the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship, it can be hard to know what to say to him.Some people just flat out avoid individuals dealing with these kinds of losses. They may feel bad about doing - [SECURITY MATES](https://family-counseling.org/security-mates/) - Some say it's a relief to be alone after a terrible relationship ends, but most don't feel this way. Many people--in all walks of life--barely wait for their current relationships to be declared dead before they sign up for an on-line dating site or head out to the bars. It's like a relay race where - [FORGIVE, BUT FORGET?](https://family-counseling.org/forgive-but-forget/) - The importance of forgiving your enemies is getting lots of attention these days, but it's harder to forgive those who are not your enemies. Injury or betrayal by a loved one is much more painful. And what's with the "forgetting" thing? Is it good to forget about an offense done to you? Do you have - [THE URGE TO DIAGNOSES](https://family-counseling.org/the-urge-to-diagnoses/) - "My husband and I have been married a little over a year. We don't fight a lot, but when we do, it's terrible. A yr ago, we got into a couple of knock-down drag-outs where he called me ugly names and insulted me cruelly. I slapped him twice. He quickly let me know that this - [KIDS: MISBEHAVIOR & FEAR](https://family-counseling.org/kids-misbehavior-fear/) - Your child's words of anger may upset you, but it's important to realize that they're pipsqueaks. You're the big dog, even though you may not feel like it and you may not know what to do to get them to behave or to eat sensibly.As crazy as it sounds to frustrated, well-meaning parents, children are very - [WORKING MY WAY OUT OF A JOB](https://family-counseling.org/working-my-way-out-of-a-job/) - After several weeks or months of therapy, some of clients just go away. And this is okay, although I do prefer them to cancel or just not reschedule. No shows are a waste of my time and are particularly frustrating when I have others waiting for open appointment times. Still, I get it. Knowing how to leave - [COMMANDING THE CONVERSATION](https://family-counseling.org/commanding-the-conversation/) - "I have 2 sons and a daughter. My oldest son is married 10 years with 3 kids. His oldest is a step-daughter, who's 15. He also has 2 younger sons, ages 10 and 5. When my daughter came to visit recently, I tried to spend as much time with her as I could. She invited my daughter-in-law to go shopping - [GIVING UP](https://family-counseling.org/giving-up/) - Lots of couples come to see me when their relationships have been in trouble for a long while. When I ask why they are still together, couples sometimes readily say they still love one another. Some couples, however, admit they just hate giving up.Confronting relationship problems isn't fun, particularly when they've experienced a lot of failure and nothing - [STUCK IN-BETWEEN](https://family-counseling.org/stuck-in-between/) - Sometime around the high school years, kids realize that they are growing up--and it usually scares the crap out of them. Some kids sail through this phase, seeming impervious to the great responsibilities that come with adulthood, but most hit the wall with a real bang. Growing up scares the heck out of them.If you've - [SEX CONNECTS / SEX DIVIDES](https://family-counseling.org/sex-connects-sex-divides/) - "How can I expect one to treat me with respect and dignity when its not possible for this person to feel empathy or understand what lack of respect does to the other person. Or should I expect it?"* Dear Unrespected, It sounds like you're dating or married to a psychopath. If this - [YOU HAVE POWER...EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL THAT WAY](https://family-counseling.org/you-have-power-even-if-you-dont-feel-that-way/) - "My father has admitted to having an affair with a woman a few years ago. At the time, my mother was very upset and even threatened to leave, but somehow they worked it out. However, he still seems to be seeing this woman. They talk on the phone for hours at a time, he visits - [FOLLOW-THROUGH](https://family-counseling.org/follow-through/) - The only way your kids can trust you is if you follow-through on what you tell them. This goes directly to them feeling safe with you. After all, they're young and small and they depend on you. They need to feel sure that you will take care of them and that means that you'll do what you say.In the old - [RELATIONSHIP RESET](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-reset/) - Have you ever said you just want to get back to how we used to be or that you want a totally fresh start with your partner, like pushing a reset button? Sadly, trying to develop amnesia about problems between the two of you doesn't work--at least not long term.I often hear people express the desire - [THRILLED BUT NOT PROUD](https://family-counseling.org/thrilled-but-not-proud/) - Tomorrow, a child of mine is graduating medical school. All through her academic process--valedictorian of her small high school, cum laude graduate in biology from college, a masters in medical science and then medical school--people have been commenting on how proud of her I must be.I have a problem with that word--proud--and I realize this - [MOTHERHOOD: SHARE THE GLORY](https://family-counseling.org/motherhood-share-the-glory/) - Sometimes parenting sucks, but sometimes it's the most glorious part of being human. In holiday gift-giving expenditures, Mother's Day ranks fourth behind Christmas, Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day. Father's Day falls a sad sixth in spending, coming after Easter. This may be only a rough indication of the involvement of mothers versus fathers, but we tend to put our money - [REVENGE CHEATING](https://family-counseling.org/revenge-cheating/) - This is pay-back, pure and simple. A version of "you hurt me, so I'm going to hurt you." Be very careful if you're thinking along these lines. I totally get that having a mate--the person closest to you--cheat on you hurts like hell. In that distressed moment, you want to lash out, to make your lover - [DEPRESSION AND MEDICATION](https://family-counseling.org/depression-and-medication/) - We live in a very complicated world and sometimes we get depressed. Many choose to take medications to help with this, but a recent Harvard study showed that depression medication--for those who are mildly to moderately depressed--has no more impact than that of a placebo. For the severely depressed, medication was found to have more effect.For some - [GO AHEAD. BLAME ME.](https://family-counseling.org/go-ahead-blame-me/) - Being a teen is tough.Yes, parenting teens is really tough, but if your kid is a teen--particularly a late teen--think about what they're facing. Most kids are sheltered and some are pampered. If the child is lucky and life is working out as it should, she's been looked after and encouraged to prosper.When children come into this world as tadpoles - [DARK, DIRTY SECRETS](https://family-counseling.org/dark-dirty-secrets/) - Everyone has moments they're not proud of--mistakes they made or bad choices they regret. Some, though, have secrets they hide in shame. Clients sometimes tell me about these, confessing in hushed, halted voices to sins they can't forget or forgive themselves for.They fear the consequences of these secrets ever becoming known, but more than this, they - [REASONS FOR STAYING IN A BAD MARRIAGE](https://family-counseling.org/reasons-for-staying-in-a-bad-marriage/) - Whether or not you leave a dysfunctional relationship is completely your decision. No one has the right to tell you what to do, no matter how close they are to you or what kind of degrees they have.Not long ago, I was contacted by a man who was angry because his ex-girlfriend claimed that I'd - [LOUDER ISN'T BETTER](https://family-counseling.org/louder-isnt-better/) - What do you do when it doesn't seem like the person you're talking to is listening?Every one of us has had a situation in which we didn't feel heard. People often talk of communication problems, but what we normally do when we don't feel understood or when we're angry is to raise our voices. We - [IT HAS TO BE DIFFERENT...](https://family-counseling.org/it-has-to-be-different/) - Infidelity rips relationships up and recovery is difficult. Some people walk away from situations where someone has cheated, unable or unwilling to continue once trust has been broken. Others stay for a variety of reasons. This is a very personal choice and no one but the parties involved get to vote on whether the relationship continues. - [HOW TO FORGIVE](https://family-counseling.org/how-to-forgive/) - "My husband and I have a happy healthy relationship for the most part, but it changes when he goes to work. He works out of town every other week and it seems like every time he leaves we start arguing. The minute he gets home we are as happy as can be. I don't know - [ENCOURAGE TEENS TO WORK](https://family-counseling.org/encourage-teens-to-work/) - "I spent 3 years in a verbally abuse, mentally exhausting, chaotic relationship. The thing was, I loved her. She broke up with me in October of last year, but has been living in my house until today (March 1st). I am having trouble getting over her. She was an awful partner, didn't appreciate me, never did - [WHY NOT JUST LEAVE?](https://family-counseling.org/why-not-just-leave/) - Cheating happens in just over half of all relationships, although the statistics are wobbly since people don't easily admit to this behavior. The inference here is that lots of people aren't happy in their relationship commitments. Even though this is fairly common, most feel badly about breaking their vows. But they still do it way - [ENCOURAGING RISK-TAKING](https://family-counseling.org/encouraging-risk-taking/) - "My daughter is 11 and lies about everything. Can you give me some tips to try to help her? We are at our wits end. I have tried to reward her for good behavior and it will start to get better, but then it will relapse again. Her dad is only in the picture when - [YOU GET TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF](https://family-counseling.org/you-get-to-figure-it-out-for-yourself/) - Let's just start off by saying there are usually many right ways to accomplish whatever, but many individuals still insist they're right about pretty much everything.Admittedly, being right feels good. We're like kids in the classroom, eagerly raising our hands when we know the answer. We love winning--being right!--so much that many of us are tempted to cheat - [YOU'LL DO](https://family-counseling.org/youll-do/) - The most frequent reason given as to why individuals don't leave unsatisfactory relationships is that they don't want to be alone.We live in a couple world where many see even an unhappy connection as better than no connection at all. We'd rather have miserable Valentine's Days, dissatisfied with whatever does or doesn't happen, than have no valentine to - [VALENTINE RULES FOR ESTABLISHED COUPLES](https://family-counseling.org/valentine-rules-for-established-couples/) - Valentine's Day is one of the most celebrated/hated days of the year. With the focus on showing your love, things often get twisted, so adhere to these rules for couples who've been to a few rodeos:Don't Do Unto Others.....Following the golden rule is a pretty good way to live, except not everyone wants you to - [ADJUSTING: YOU OR THE KIDS?](https://family-counseling.org/adjusting-you-or-the-kids/) - Dr. Carol"Our son Ethan is 3 yrs old and when my husband asks for him to give him a kiss or hug him he refuses. He will easily give me kisses and hugs though. It seems like they are already starting to butt heads. My husband tends to use an authoritarian style parenting. He will tell - [VALENTINE LOVE](https://family-counseling.org/valentine-love/) - Valentine's is a day of big expectation and a certain amount of stress. This is sad because love is supposed to refresh, comfort and renew. But that often isn't the reality for some. So, here's a prescription--Ask What Makes Your Love Feel LovedA surprising number of people can't accurately say what makes their special person - [CONVEYING RESPECT](https://family-counseling.org/conveying-respect/) - Even if you feel loved, you may not feel respected.While the term respect technically means to be valued, it also can mean being treated with courtesy and having certain rights, which is where the problems often come in. In the complexity of relationships, we need to both be respected and to respect, but that can be difficult.Parents talk - [QUESTIONING YOURSELF](https://family-counseling.org/questioning-yourself/) - We focus a lot on resolutions at the first of the year--often the same ones every year--and after getting a gym membership and a personal trainer, subscribing to a diet service or promising ourselves we'll live better lives in various ways, we often fail. Let's admit it, sometimes we suck. We don't tell our bosses - [LIVE LIKE NO ONE'S WATCHING](https://family-counseling.org/live-like-no-ones-watching/) - Our behavior is often influenced by our belief that others are watching, criticising and judging us. This anxiety often constricts and narrows our perspective. We don't get to the simple choice of "what do I want to do here" because we worry about how we're viewed by others.Don't get me wrong--others' matter a whole bunch. - [HOLIDAYS AND FAMILIES](https://family-counseling.org/holidays-and-families/) - The holiday season can be joyous and filled with fun. It's supposed to be a big family time of the year, whether you go to church together or focus more on the secular side of things. Some families, however, have difficult times. Alcohol and togetherness can bring out unresolved issues and make getting together a - [REACHING THE END](https://family-counseling.org/reaching-the-end/) - More than half of marriages fail and those are just the couples that made a legal commitment. Relationships are one of the hardest things we do on this earth. Sometimes they flourish and sometimes they don't.Whether or not you're in a troubled relationship, you'll have noticed that lots of people have lots of opinions about - [I DON'T HAVE THE POWER (AND NEITHER DO YOU)](https://family-counseling.org/i-dont-have-the-power-and-neither-do-you/) - "I have 2 daughters. One is married with a baby and my older daughter is gay and has a partner. When my youngest daughter was still in the hospital after the delivery of her son, her husband made sexual advances toward my older daughter-asking her if she had ever been with a man and saying that - [DON'T TAKE THEIR CONSEQUENCES](https://family-counseling.org/dont-take-their-consequences/) - My daughter and her husband have been having problems for quite a while. In fact, he says he hasn’t felt right about them for 3 years. (They are married 6+). My husband and I have stayed out of it, unless she asks for help. They still live together, but more or less as roommates. He - [LEARN FROM EVERY CRISIS](https://family-counseling.org/learn-from-every-crisis/) - "I was involved in an relationship when I was only 24 years old with a girl who had just completed her high school education. She got pregnant and we had a baby girl. Being a person who is a victim of family breakup, I decided to take her as my wife. Now the problem is that I - [EXPECTATIONS IN MARRIAGE](https://family-counseling.org/expectations-in-marriage/) - You and your mate probably had fun picking your wedding invitations and celebrating the day, but becoming a union is a little more challenging. Marriages die half the time and these aren't good odds. You may know people--intelligent, attractive folk--who've been married multiple times. You may be in this group yourself.The tough times come, though, and sometimes - [LET'S BLAME THE MOM](https://family-counseling.org/lets-blame-the-mom/) - "My stepson is ten, and has no boundaries. At his mothers home, he's allowed to watch any rated show and movies and play any kind of video games any time and as long as he wants. He's allowed to wander the neighborhood and go to the store with friends or alone. He eats and drinks whatever he - [REMORSE? EXTRACT THE LEARNING](https://family-counseling.org/remorse-extract-the-learning/) - "I want help from you to save our marriage. We had a love marriage based on understanding each others feelings. We love each other a lot but still a lot of things are going wrong. My hubby has no time at all. We've been married two years and we haven't spend a single whole day together. All - [NOT NECESSARILY A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK](https://family-counseling.org/not-necessarily-a-chip-off-the-old-block/) - When my first child was born, I looked down at her and was immediately struck that she bore a great resemblance to her father. She looked just like him, minus the mustache. Fortunately, he’s got great genes. Ironically, this daughter’s personality is more like me.We get in trouble when we anticipate or assume that our - [IN HIS BEST INTEREST](https://family-counseling.org/in-his-best-interest/) - When you feel loved and happy in a relationship, you want what’s best for your mate and you know your mate wants the same for you. Ask yourself if you want your mate to achieve his or her goals. Do these conflict with what you want in life? If so, you need to look at - [EXTRACT LEARNING FROM MISTAKES](https://family-counseling.org/extract-learning-from-mistakes/) - "I would like some advice on a situation that happened 20 years ago. When I first started dating my wife our children, my 10 year old daughter and her 12 year old son had some sexual acting out. We immediately took action and sent the boy to a treatment center for a year. My daughter - [IT'S OKAY TO QUIT](https://family-counseling.org/its-okay-to-quit/) - "My mom and dad divorced when I was two. My dad physically abused my mom, so she took me and left. They tried again a few months later and the abuse escalated. He broke her glasses, pulled her hair, slapped her and pushed her down. They separated for about 13 years. Then later when I was - [THE PERFECT WEDDING DAY?](https://family-counseling.org/the-perfect-wedding-day/) - Much has been written about bridezillas and the "its-all-about-me" attitude that some women have when it comes to planning a wedding. Let's be honest, though, most of us like being special, feeling the focus of those around us. For some reason, guys don't have the wedding fantasy. They've grown up with fantasies of throwing the perfect touchdown in - [MOVING ON?](https://family-counseling.org/moving-on/) - Only you can decide when you’re ready to leave a relationship. Lots of people will have opinions and they’ll share these with you without any encouragement. Some will tell you should stay(to give it another chance/for the kids/because it’s best financially) and some will tell you to leave(you’ve given it enough chances/the kids shouldn’t be - [LAST DITCH EFFORT](https://family-counseling.org/last-ditch-effort/) - Hello Dr. Doss, I have a question/problem. I'm not sure anymore what I should be doing or not. I have a 22 year old son that lives at home and the past couple of years he has gotten in trouble and had to be in jail for 1 year, now he has been home for 3 months on - [SCHOOL STARTS](https://family-counseling.org/school-starts/) - For many, this has been a week of transitions. Summer is over(at least according to the calendar), and our children are moving ahead--sometimes it feels like they're moving away from us. Whether we're dropping a confused kindergartner off or taking an eighteen year-old freshman to college, we're watching them move ahead. This is a reality for parents. Children - [FIGHTING ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF](https://family-counseling.org/fighting-about-the-small-stuff/) - Dear Dr. Doss, I hope you are able to see this email because I really am in need of help. I cannot understand my father. I've always tried to. Whenever I want to tell him something, I hesitate because he's so narrow-minded that he doesn't respect my opinion on things. He does not let me - [NO SEX? CANARY IN THE COAL MINE](https://family-counseling.org/no-sex-canary-in-the-coal-mine/) - When you have trouble in the relationship, it often shows up in sexual dysfunction or a major dimishment in sex, overall. Few of us like conflict with the ones we love, but this is unavoidable. You share your most intimate moments--and your money--with your mate. Throw in the challenges of parenting or step-parenting and family-of-origin - [HE PULLED THE TRIGGER](https://family-counseling.org/he-pulled-the-trigger/) - Last week, a boy in his twenties that my daughter went to school with shot himself dead. He’d been depressed for some time. Because I know his parents, I’m fairly certain that they got help for him. They still blame themselves for his actions. As parents, we have a lot of impact on our kids. When they’re - [THE PROBLEM WITH KIDS...](https://family-counseling.org/the-problem-with-kids/) - We parents have a tendency to judge whether or not we've done a good job by how our kids are doing. But that perspective ignores the very real fact that our children have minds of their own. They make choices and, particularly when they're adults, those choices determine what they do with their lives.But we - [SCORCHED-EARTH DIVORCES](https://family-counseling.org/scorched-earth-divorces/) - When a marriage ends, people typically have lots of emotions. Sometimes the relief they feel is mixed with sorrow; the anger and loss can be mixed with excitement. Life will definitely be different. Sadly, some individuals turn these feelings into rage, particularly if they didn’t want the marriage to end. Then, we can end up - [IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP DETERMINED BY HISTORY?](https://family-counseling.org/is-your-relationship-determined-by-history/) - When counseling with individuals about relationship problems, I frequently hear, "We knew each other since we were kids. I've known him(or her) forever." This is almost invariably uttered when clients attempt to tell me why they're still in a troubled relationship. (I always ask why people have continued these involvements, as their answers can be - [DON'T GIVE UP YET](https://family-counseling.org/dont-give-up-yet/) - “Dear Dr. Doss, I am 19 years old and currently living alone right now. I live in Texas, but I'm originally from California (where I'd rather be). For several years since I moved to Texas- around my freshman year of high school- I've felt like my family has... drifted apart. I've heard that that's normal... - [IN PRAISE OF FOSTER PARENTS](https://family-counseling.org/in-praise-of-foster-parents/) - Lately, foster parents have been getting really bad press, what with cases like Jerry Sandusky molesting the foster kid he adopted. The foster system isn't always pretty. There certainly are bad people in the system and some are just trying to get money, housing foster kids for the cash, but I feel the need to point out that - [DRIVE OR DRIFT?](https://family-counseling.org/drive-or-drift/) - You're a grown up now. You don't have summers off to swim and play and now you have to find your own path. So do you drift or drive?When college graduates get a degree and move out into the world, they often have big debt, but no real direction. This is difficult, considering the job - [DON'T BE A SIDELINE DAD](https://family-counseling.org/dont-be-a-sideline-dad/) - We all know that parenting is a very difficult job, but its not very commonly addressed that moms have a bigger role than dads. In previous eras, some moms stayed home and focused on keeping house and parenting the children in the families. Dads made the money and meted out discipline, as in “Just wait - [NEVER SATISFIED?](https://family-counseling.org/never-satisfied/) - In our culture, it's a common belief that being satisfied is a bad thing. We equate this with not having initiative or with being lazy, but personal satisfaction has many more benefits than risks. Being satisfied with the accomplishments you have doesn't have to indicate that you're not still yearning and seeking new and exciting - [FAIL-SAFE KIDS](https://family-counseling.org/fail-safe-kids/) - Hi Dr, I am from India, am going through a real tough time now with my family and spouse. I could not make any decision and am totally confused. Can you please help me providng some suggestion. * Dear India, Since you didn't mention what issues you're dealing with, I can only address your struggle - [IF HE'S NOT LEFT HIS WIFE...](https://family-counseling.org/if-hes-not-left-his-wife/) - "I dated a wonderful guy. He proposed and, while I initially accepted, I later gave him back his ring. After 3 years of trying to be patient with his views on his finances, I left the relationship. In the beginning he was living in a basement of a female he 'knew', but once we started - [I DON'T WANT TO KNOW....](https://family-counseling.org/i-dont-want-to-know/) - The parents of adult children often come to see me in great distress over the choices their children are making. They usually want me to convince their kids of the error of their ways and I get this. These parents have lived longer and often have seen that some choices lead only to heartbreak. The harsh - [DON'T WANT TO BE A MOTHER?](https://family-counseling.org/dont-want-to-be-a-mother/) - "I am a 59 year-old mother of 2 adult children--a son who is 31 and a daughter, 28. I have 2 adult step-children and 6 grandchildren. I have a good relationship with all my kids, except for one. My son who I desperately want a relationship with. When my son was 6, his father and - [MAKING IT ALL BETTER](https://family-counseling.org/making-it-all-better/) - When you were a small child, you may have had a mother or grandmother who offered to kiss your boo-boos to make them all better. Now that you're grown up, you might wish it were that simple.When you love someone, you want to help them through difficulties even when you could scream about all the - [ARE ALL KIDS LIARS?](https://family-counseling.org/are-all-kids-liars/) - Lying is typically a way for the less-powerful to respond to the more-powerful, so most kids will lie. They're smaller and less powerful than you and they need you to survive. They also love you and don't want you mad at them, so yes, they lie. As a parent, this is a challenging situation. You - [GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK](https://family-counseling.org/give-yourself-a-break/) - It's not at all uncommon for parents to talk with me about what they consider their parenting failures, moments when they've been bad parents. Don't get me wrong here, some people really do make awful parents and some are actively harmful to their offspring. But these are the exception. I've said it before--parenting is one - [REACHING HUMBLE](https://family-counseling.org/reaching-humble/) - This may seem like an abstract subject to some, but how you view yourself is very important and we're confused about the subject.High self-esteem is good. Don't let yourself doubt this, no matter who says you should think you're a worm. (Actually earthworms are pretty important!) You need to see your good points--the aspects of - [FIXING YOURSELF FIRST](https://family-counseling.org/fixing-yourself-first/) - Clients frequently come into counseling, reporting problems with their mates, but saying that they need to fix themselves first. Then they plan to work on the relationship. Individual therapy is certainly your right and you can be as private in this as you like. Coming alone is sometimes a relief to people because they can - [SUPPORTIVE PARENTING](https://family-counseling.org/supportive-parenting/) - "For about 4 years now, my parents have been divorced. 3 years ago, my father found a new girlfriend, however my 3 siblings and I only really found out about her a couple of years ago. At first, it was like any new girlfriend-of-the-father relationship. She seemed 'cool', was nice and not intrusive. However, as - [NOTICE YOUR SUCCESSES](https://family-counseling.org/notice-your-successes/) - You may have bad habits and irritating tendencies, but you're probably pretty good at most stuff. Unfortunately, most of us don't notice the things we're good at. Even if we have friends and family cheering on the sidelines, our tendency is to shrug this off because they love us.Even individuals who would be considered successful - [PARENTING--AN EVOLVING JOB](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-an-evolving-job/) - Being the parent of a child isn't the same thing as having an child who is an adult. The role shifts.The professionals and researchers tell us that parents are too involved these days, even coining the phrase "helicopter parent" for parents who hover over their children. There are lots of people to tell you how - [MAKING THE LEAP--A CHILD BECOMING AN ADULT](https://family-counseling.org/making-the-leap-a-child-becoming-an-adult/) - "I'm a 16 year old and I have a lot of stress in my life. When I was six, an older boy molested me. I tried to fight back and get him to stop, but he told me he would tell my parents and they wouldn't love me any more. I was ashamed. I tried - [ANTI-DEPRESSANTS & THE PLACEBO EFFECT](https://family-counseling.org/anti-depressants-the-placebo-effect/) - A story ran on the CBS television show 60 Minutes last week about a Harvard researcher studying the placebo effect. He concluded that for the majority of individuals with moderate depression, these medications have little to no effect beyond the expectation of getting better. He was clear that he wasn't saying that the medications have - [LOVE, NOT INCLINATION](https://family-counseling.org/love-not-inclination/) - "I have been dating a guy for a year. My kids and I have been to every baseball game and basketball game to support his son. I have been to everything to support my friend. They have only been to one thing in support of my daughter. She has a pageant and my friend committed - [RELATIONSHIPS ARE FRAGILE--DON'T COAST](https://family-counseling.org/relationships-are-fragile-dont-coast/) - I hear all the time that people want easy relationships. I get this, but I've never met a relationship that didn't have conflict. We all hate relationship conflict (except for the release of yelling and the exciting make-up sex afterwards), but conflict in relationship has an important function. That being said, it's often a tendency - [SHOWING YOUR VALENTINE LOVE](https://family-counseling.org/showing-your-valentine-love/) - "I'm a 37 year-old single mom. A year ago, I decided to leave my boyfriend of 7 years. I have a 9 year-old son he raised and he and I have a 3 year-old daughter.After having my daughter, I was a stay-at-home mom. My boyfriend kept me home with no car. For the past 7 - [DON'T STAY BECA-- USE YOU "SHOULD"](https://family-counseling.org/dont-stay-because-you-should/) - "I'm writing to you because I've decided to separate from my husband of 19 years. We have one daughter together who will be going to college this fall and my other daughter (not his) is married with 2 children.My husband was addicted to pain killers, Zanex, Oxycotin, crack and heroin. He had colon cancer and - [HOW DO YOU FEEL LOVED?](https://family-counseling.org/how-do-you-feel-loved/) - "I'm 28 years old and my husband is 48 years old. We met 4 years ago and have a 2 year-old daughter together. I'm so confused with our marriage. I love him, but I'm not sure how much more I can take. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage. Their ages are 26, 21 - [DO KIDS OWE PARENTS?](https://family-counseling.org/do-kids-owe-parents/) - "My divorced step-daughter and our grandson, who have been living with my wife and myself for six years, has recently become romantically involved with someong. She insists that she be allowed to have him sleep over in her bed. My wife and I are at odds over this. I am completely opposed to this. My - [HANGING ON (& BITCHING)](https://family-counseling.org/hanging-on-bitching/) - "My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have three children together. We have been through a lot of problems in our marriage. My husband is a very quiet man. We hardly talk to each other or go out alone together. If he goes anywhere, it's always around his family, but not - [SEEING PAST THIS MOMENT](https://family-counseling.org/seeing-past-this-moment/) - "I just feel that my marriage is a big mistake and a failure after 22 years of marriage and having 5 children. I need your help on how to make corrective decisions to plan my life forward.My wife and I are Muslim, living in Saudi Arabia. I am 45 years old and have a Ph.D. - [DO THE HARD (RIGHT) THING](https://family-counseling.org/do-the-hard-right-thing/) - "I am divorced with two children. My ex-husband and father of my children was very abusive (sexually, emotionally, verbally). He forced himself of me many times, called me horrific names, refused to support me in any way, would not work and would not celebrate holidays. When I had a baby die, he told me to - [FIND SOMEONE WHO LIKES YOU](https://family-counseling.org/find-someone-who-likes-you/) - "My mother and I have been fighting more and more lately. We used to get along really well, but after my brother got married a couple of years ago, things went downhill. My mom went over the deep end with her mother (who she does not get along with) coming into town, and my father - [LITTLE LETHAL PLEASURES](https://family-counseling.org/little-lethal-pleasures/) - "My spouse and I have known each other for 10 years, but have only been in a relationship for 4 years. We have a 3 year-old child. At the beginning of our relationship, everything was great, fun and easy, but after we had our child, it seems like things and we have changed. We argue - [WHAT LIFE DO YOU WANT?](https://family-counseling.org/what-life-do-you-want/) - Too often we ask teens and college-bound kids the wrong question and truthfully adults are often confused when making major decisions. Rather than asking themselves about college-majors and career choices, individuals first need to consider the kinds of lives they want to lead. This may sound obvious, but think about it, when you pick a - [GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK](https://family-counseling.org/give-the-girl-a-break/) - "I was physically abused by my husband years ago to the point of barely surviving and my in-laws filed for custody of my 2 year-old daughter while I was in the hospital recovering. They won custody and took her away to another state. Because of her father's abuse, I was told I couldn't have her - [SHE WANTS KIDS NOW; HE'S NERVOUS](https://family-counseling.org/she-wants-kids-now-hes-nervous/) - I have loved my fiancee for a long time. I'm simply not willing to let go and walk away. We get along great at times and she really is my best friend. We both want to get married and start a family as soon as possible, but she doesn't think that I share those desires - [LEARN FROM IT](https://family-counseling.org/learn-from-it/) - Bad stuff happens and if we're paying attention, we look for the lesson. This isn't to say that random bad things don't happen. They do. Just watch the news. People get what they don't deserve all the times. In our difficult economy, people lose jobs and homes and self-respect. Most of them don't deserve any - [BEING 13 SUCKS * EXCRUTIATING SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS](https://family-counseling.org/being-13-sucks-excrutiating-self-consciousness/) - "I'm not sure what to do anymore. Many nights I end up crying myself to sleep. My dad never seems to notice anything or care. His main focus is work. If he isn't working, he's on the computer or watching TV. My mom thinks she's doing what's best for us, but I can't seem to - [DRIVING HER CRAZY](https://family-counseling.org/driving-her-crazy/) - My husband and I have been married for 8 of our 15 years together and recently, everything has spun so out of control that neither one of us knows each other anymore. The root of the problem is three years ago my husband cheated on me. I know I chose to stay in my marriage - [PUNISHED LOVE LEAVES](https://family-counseling.org/punished-love-leaves/) - "I am a 25 year old professional working in India. I am in a relationship with a girl of the same age from past 3 years. We are no yet married, but we were staying together for last 1 year. I was down with a nagging chest pain for few months and my entire routine - [GIRLFRIEND'S DIRTY KIDS](https://family-counseling.org/girlfriends-dirty-kids/) - "I need some advice about issues with by girlfriend's children that are 16, 19 & 20 and her mother, who lives with us. I find that the children and mother-in-law are lazy and I am constantly having to clean up after them with many issues, such as towels left on counters, and mostly dishes. Many - [CONVENIENCE STORE COMFORT](https://family-counseling.org/convenience-store-comfort/) - A client of mine recently spoke about his depression and his tendency to isolate himself. The one thing he did regularly was to visit a convenience store near his home. He liked to go there and get a drink, talk to the clerks and, in that way, get out of himself and his dark moments - [STEP-MOM 911](https://family-counseling.org/step-mom-911/) - "I am a step-mom. My husband and I got married 1 1/2 years ago and I don't have any kids of my own, nor do I plan on having any. I really like and love my step-kids. I formed a healthy bond with them when we dated for over a year. I consider us friend - [RELATIONSHIP BENEFITS](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-benefits/) - Many studies report that having relationships helps your health, but they do more than that if you're working it right.Relationships, however, can also help us be better people. Our interactions with others can be irritating, annoying--even maddening--but our closest relationships can also be very fulfilling and highly educational. We learn the most in relationships. I've - [IN-LAW DRAMA](https://family-counseling.org/in-law-drama/) - "How do you deal with in-laws who don't like you? My boyfriend 'John' and I have been together for 37 years on and off and have been living together for 20 years. I have done nothing to my in-laws in the past to make them dislike me. I am 11 years younger than my boyfriend - [FACE YOUR FEAR](https://family-counseling.org/face-your-fear/) - All of us have fears, things we really don't want to happen. No matter how strong and positive you see yourself as or simply try to be, fear is a natural emotion and it can haunt your dreams and cripple your waking hours. You may fear for loved ones--your children, your mate, your parents--or for - [FOR THEIR OWN GOOD](https://family-counseling.org/for-their-own-good/) - "I have been married now eleven years to my high school sweetheart. We have four boys between the ages of 11 and one. About five months ago my father-in-law died after being diagnosed with cancer. Since then my husband has had to take over his business and he hasn't been able to grieve. He refuses - [SNOOPING LEADS TO HURT FEELINGS](https://family-counseling.org/snooping-leads-to-hurt-feelings/) - "I found an open email layed flat on my mother's desk. I thought I was superclose with my brother and sisters....until...I read [her] private email and I found myself in total shock as to how they gossiped badly about me, my married life and how I raise my children. They passed judgement. I went on - [THE 3RD DATE RULE](https://family-counseling.org/the-3rd-date-rule/) - The fallacy behind this is the assumption that you will know your dates by the third time you see him. Most relationships break-up over conflicts in how money is handled, followed closely by sex, children, in-laws and religion. I'd guess that disagreements over who does household chores make a close sixth. Really...how much of this - [BREAK-UP SAVY](https://family-counseling.org/break-up-savy/) - Okay this is a topic you never want to have to know about...but you may need.When a couple hits more snags than they can stand, they often call it off. They break-up. This is an ugly process and this is often when couples seek counseling. They also go back to church, but that's another topic. - [TOO SMART FOR AB-- USE?](https://family-counseling.org/too-smart-for-abuse/) - This is one of those things that always happens to the other person, not you. We have the image that the abused are uneducated and poor, generally unable to get out and make their lives better. This is sadly sometimes true, but not always.Abuse happens to the educated, too. Those from good homes and in - [MESSED UP MOM](https://family-counseling.org/messed-up-mom/) - "I am 35 years old. I have five children from 3 different fathers. I was married to...a man who was a little too fond of drinking. My first husband is the father of my two oldest daughters. I am now remarried and we're approaching our 3rd anniversary. My present husband is the father of the - [CONTROLLING PARENTS](https://family-counseling.org/controlling-parents/) - "I am 20 years old and my girlfriend is 19. She has very controlling parents. They won't let her out, at all, and she has to lie to them, telling them that she's going to work just to hang out with me. I don't get to see her a lot and she's been working a - [SHOULD SHE TRUST HIM AGAIN?](https://family-counseling.org/should-she-trust-him-again/) - "My boyfriend and I were surprised, but happy to find out we were having a baby. A few months after this, he started partying hard...staying out all night...and being gone for 2-3 days at a time. This made us fight a lot, but I thought 'maybe he's just getting it out of his system'. He - [RELATIONSHIP WITH ALCOHOLIC MOTHER](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-with-alcoholic-mother/) - "My mother and I have difficulty communicating...We attempted counseling, but it has made it even more difficult! I really believed we were going to try when she wanted to meet once a week to talk. I wanted to put things back together and I believed her 100%.She is an alcoholic and I've learned not to - [TOUGH TO BE THE TOUGH ONE](https://family-counseling.org/tough-to-be-the-tough-one/) - "I'm writing this because I need some advice. I really don't know how you will help me with this, but I figured I'll write. I just found out that my mom has tumors in her stomach and she might have ovarian cancer. I've been the 'hard a**' during this situation, trying to keep hope alive, - [ARE YOU A "GOOD KID"?](https://family-counseling.org/are-you-a-good-kid/) - Parents want them and most kids want to be them, but its a not necessarily a good thing to be The Good Kid. Most families have one of these, the kid who always does what their parents want--at least when they're observed--and get most of the parental kudos. These are the ones who take pride - [OKAY WITH BEING A "SIDE PIECE"?](https://family-counseling.org/okay-with-being-a-side-piece/) - I always learn things from my job--both things about myself and things about the world. This week a client used a phrase that very clearly summarizes what many folks are dealing with. She said her relative is okay with being a side piece.Lots of people are dealing with relationship issues. Trouble in this area is - [DON'T LET THE DELIVERY OVERWHELM THE MESSAGE](https://family-counseling.org/dont-let-the-delivery-overwhelm-the-message/) - Do you listen well when you're being shouted at? Most of us don't. The delivery of the message makes a lot of different, but the urge to yell is powerful. This is particularly true when you're talking to a child or adolescent who blocks you out or when you have a lot of emotion about - [GO AHEAD. COMPLAIN.](https://family-counseling.org/go-ahead-complain/) - Expressing distress is both normal and functional, but lots of people are feeling guilty about this now. I'm not suggesting you complain your life away or that you shouldn't change the things you need to change, but don't give yourself grief because you have unhappy moments. Some things are bad, you don't need to say - [TOO CLOSE TO YOUR KIDS?](https://family-counseling.org/too-close-to-your-kids/) - This may seem like a crazy question--or one you think refers to a really crazy situation--but it's a good area of debate. How close is too close? Kids need parents, no question about it. They need reliable, attentive, concerned parents who watch out for them when they're little and stay up with them in the - [TOO LATE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP?](https://family-counseling.org/too-late-for-your-relationship/) - No one else can tell you when its time for you to move on, to leave a relationship behind. Lots of people may want to, the individuals to whom you've complained about your mate or the one's who've patched you up when things got rough.Still, they don't get to make this decision.I see lots of - [GRIEF AND LOSS](https://family-counseling.org/grief-and-loss/) - A few weeks back my husband, Dr. Roger Doss, and I gave a continuing education workshop for about 100 professionals in the mental health field. The topic was grief. Because Roger and I enjoy presenting workshops in an interactive style, we started this one by asking the participants to write down--anonymously--their greatest losses. We asked - [DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY](https://family-counseling.org/dysfunctional-family/) - "My family is constantly squabbling. We're more or less obsessed with being right and pointing fingers at the person who's wrong(always someone else). It doesn't really help that my son and husband...get so incensed that within seconds of the start of an argument, they're already shouting. They never actually listen to the other person's side - [SHE'S AFRAID OF GROWING UP](https://family-counseling.org/shes-afraid-of-growing-up/) - "My daughter and I seem to be constantly at odds. We have always had a very close relationship until about 18 months ago. She went to college about 30 minutes from home, living in the dorm for the first year. Then she returned to attend a local college, living at home. Now, she stays out - [DEFAULT RELATIONSHIPS](https://family-counseling.org/default-relationships/) - Being alone can be a relief after a bad relationship, but most of us don't want to live our lives without a partner. Being with someone can be difficult, though. Most individuals would rather have a significant other than be alone. Just look at all the dating websites that have sprung up in the last - [ADULT DAUGHTER & MOTHER FIGHT](https://family-counseling.org/adult-daughter-mother-fight/) - "My mother and I--along with she and my sister--have been fighting. She is erratic and moody. Today things took a very bad turn. I had planned to visit my parents today (they live about 8 miles away), but my mother called while I was preparing to leave and said my father was sick with a - [CHEATING AND GUILT](https://family-counseling.org/cheating-and-guilt/) - "My girlfriend and I have been together for two years no. In the beginning, we had our ups and downs and we both made mistakes and cheated. I cheated because I was still immature. It was no fault of hers. She cheated because I was being so neglectful, which we now know is because I - [EMOTIONAL STRATA](https://family-counseling.org/emotional-strata/) - Whether you marry or live together or just date, relationships are one of the hardest things we humans do. Most adults have a string of relationship experiences of various durations. Some are longer; some shorter, but the theme of "this is hard!" ties it all together.And it is hard.Just finding someone you like, who also - [UNDERSTANDABLE, BUT NOT SISTER'S PROBLEM](https://family-counseling.org/understandable-but-not-sisters-problem/) - "I have an eleven year old sister that is very disrespectful to our mother. My mother has three other children and all have different fathers. My mother has messed up in the past with drugs, but is currently improving! Hannah, my sister, comes home from school everyday, does her homework, eats, and watches television. She - [PARENT: VERB OR NOUN](https://family-counseling.org/parent-verb-or-noun/) - "I have a 17 year-old who is pregnant. She is involved with the baby's father and has been sneaking behind my back to see him. She lies to be about where she's going because she is seeing him. The baby's father is on drugs, is in and out of jail and steals to get money - [DON'T WANT SEX? FEEL UNDER-LOVED?](https://family-counseling.org/dont-want-sex-feel-under-loved/) - "I am 32 years old and I am married to a wonderful man. However, I find myself not wanting to have sex at all. He begs me and I just don't want it. But if he initiates, then I get into it. Now I just don't find myself getting aroused easily. It's just easier for - [MAKE FATHER BEG](https://family-counseling.org/make-father-beg/) - "I find myself in a rough situation. My husband and I are planning to tell my daughter that the father she has known all her life is not really her father.Her real father had not been in the picture and really has not been a part of her life. However, just recently, I have spoken - [SEX & ANXIETY](https://family-counseling.org/sex-anxiety/) - You can pay for Viagra and Cialis and other erectile dysfunction drugs, but your sexual difficulties may be more directly related to anxiety than any physical cause. Anxiety is sexual satisfaction's enemy. For both men and women, anxiety can disrupt the cycle of sexual arousal to sexual fulfillment.The biggest contributing factor to anxiety and sexual - [HOW TO FORGIVE](https://family-counseling.org/how-to-forgive-2/) - There are lots of professionals who urge forgiveness, saying that forgiving helps victims heal.This is true, but knowing how to forgive a straying lover or a childhood persecutor or abuser still eludes many. Whether the damage done has to do with being physically or verbally assaulted or if someone was particularly mean to you, forgiveness - [WANT MORE/BETTER SEX?](https://family-counseling.org/want-morebetter-sex/) - Listen close. The secret to good sex isn't in a little blue pill or any pill.While sex with various, sometimes random partners is the goal for some, most people just want more or better sex with their partners. This is what I'm talking about and it's really very simple--resolve the conflicts between the two of - [RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED](https://family-counseling.org/relationships-are-complicated/) - K writes,"I have been divorced for five years. My adult children (32 and 24) live with their mom. I remarried and divorced since then. The problem I ran into is that my adult children were home-schooled and did not get a solid education...just recently obtaining their GED's. I get along good with my children's mom - [THE PERFECT SPOILED KID](https://family-counseling.org/the-perfect-spoiled-kid/) - A frustrated mom writes, "I have a 17 year old daughter who is every parent's dream in most ways, but her spoiled attitude makes it hard to enjoy the better part of her.She excels in sports and all the coaches fight over who gets her, and the one that does makes her captain of the - [LETTING GO OF THE KID](https://family-counseling.org/letting-go-of-the-kid/) - At the risk of being called a hypocrite, I'm advocating allowing your kids to make their own lives. Lots of high school students are furiously writing college entrance essays and making themselves sick, worrying about what they'll do now that they're entering adulthood. Then there are the slackers who seem more interested in partying and - [ONLY MY FAILURES](https://family-counseling.org/only-my-failures/) - I'm going to be really honest here about a painful subject...my kids mostly just remember my parenting failures. The moments when I screwed up.This sucks the big one, but they remember the time when I went all crazy yelling at them--never mind that the yelling moments haven't been all that frequent. They remember the moments - [BULLYING...DO YOU CARE TOO MUCH?](https://family-counseling.org/bullying-do-you-care-too-much/) - Ask any teacher and they'll tell you that bullying is a growing problem in the school, so yes, you care. You don't want your kid picked on or harrassed. But bullying by definition refers to any overbearing person who intimidates individuals who are weaker or smaller.... This could describe your boss.Individuals who use power to - [TOO FRIENDLY WITH HER EX?](https://family-counseling.org/too-friendly-with-her-ex/) - My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. She's been divorced for three years and I'm the first person she dated. She has three kids--ages 10, 8 and 6. Her ex is very much a part of the kids' lives, which is great. He gets the kids every other weekend. ...Since he - [IT'S NOT ABOUT HER.....](https://family-counseling.org/its-not-about-her/) - "I've been with this guy for twelve years. We have two kids together and one on the way. For the past two years, we've been having problems, mostly financial and dealing with me going to school. Once I got into school and started meeting people to study with or get help with my homework, he - [YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN DEPRESSION](https://family-counseling.org/you-deserve-better-than-depression/) - "I'm barely 20 years old, and I feel like the last seven years of my life have been dedicated to depression and other issues. My life is a huge cycle of eating disorders, drugs, depression and finally a period of carelessness. I feel like lately I've dug myself even deeper into this hole, and I - [LOST THE FAMILY LYNCH PIN](https://family-counseling.org/lost-the-family-lynch-pin/) - "I am the youngest of three siblings. My brother is seven years older than me and my sister is twelve years older. Our father passed away eight years ago and we were a close family when he was around. He was the one who brought everyone together for family functions and holidays. Since his passing, - [TELL HIM HE'S A GRANDFATHER?](https://family-counseling.org/tell-him-hes-a-grandfather/) - One reader writes: "I got pregnant with my ex and he left me when I was four months along. ...He hasn't made any effort to see the baby and I haven't seen him since we broke up. [Now] I wonder if I should tell my ex's dad about the baby. He knew I was pregnant, - [THE FAMILY YOU CHOOSE](https://family-counseling.org/the-family-you-choose/) - We have a lot of mixed feelings about "family." Depending on the luck of the draw, for you family can mean a loving, supportive unit of people who look a lot like you....or it can be a code word for hell. In the Western world, the end of the calendar year is a period traditionally - [WALKING THE PARENT TIGHTROPE](https://family-counseling.org/walking-the-parent-tightrope/) - Don't think having kids will sudden confer a personality transformation on you. You'll still be the same person and you'll have taken on one of the hardest jobs on this earth. Parenting has many rewards, but it's no cake walk.First, you have to walk the careful line between abandonment and entitlement. You want to be - [ONCE A CHEATER?](https://family-counseling.org/once-a-cheater/) - Maybe there's more to this question than common knowledge suggests. Many people believe that cheating in a committed relationship is a personal flaw that cannot be changed. I think that's an over-simplification. Some individuals adhere to this belief, thinking they just need to shun those who've cheated and that the cheater will never change, but - [SIBLING RUPTURE](https://family-counseling.org/sibling-rupture/) - Sibling relationships can go one of two ways--you can be stuck like glue to one another or feel as disconnected as scattered Legos. The home you grow up in has a big, big impact on this, but not necessarily in a specific direction. Children who grow up in terrible situations sometimes cling together as if - [MY TEACHER FROM THE PAST](https://family-counseling.org/my-teacher-from-the-past/) - I was always a drifty kid, prone to flashes of intelligence, but I was really bad at finishing my work. At least, that's how I remember it and, honestly, I don't remember a lot. The names of classmates, even as recently as college, are lost to me, mostly because I've always been pretty introverted and - [STEP-PARENT MISTAKE](https://family-counseling.org/step-parent-mistake/) - Blending two families is a major task and there are pitfalls, but the biggest is when parents want their chosen mate to act as their children's father/mother. You as a parent get to decide if you're going to divorce. You also choose who you date or marry, but you can't make your kids love the - [BAD SEXUAL DECISIONS?](https://family-counseling.org/bad-sexual-decisions/) - There are the girls on SEX AND THE CITY and a bunch of sleazy websites who choose sexual partners purely for the erotic buzz they think they'll get, but do you know why you make the sexual choices you do?Why do you sleep with whoever you sleep with? Of course, "sleep with" is a code - [BEHAVIOR TRUMPS DNA](https://family-counseling.org/behavior-trumps-dna/) - Before anyone accuses me of being anti-family, let me say that I think family is very important...but maybe not the most important thing, depending on your family.Having loving supportive parents and siblings is a wonderful luck of the draw. Some people are fortunate enough to be born into families that encourage and add to their - [WORKING MYSELF OUT OF A JOB](https://family-counseling.org/working-myself-out-of-a-job/) - Lisa writes: "I'm 17. All my family does is fight. My family downgrades me every chance they get. They sometimes hit me and always cuss and yell at me. I feel like I have so many secrets and no one to talk to...I know my family wouldn't believe me. I don't know what to do - [SON OR HUSBAND?](https://family-counseling.org/son-or-husband/) - A reader writes: "I was married and divorced two years later because there was no understanding with my first husband. We mutually agreed to divorce, after which my infant son and I stayed with my mother. Nine years later, the man I worked for proposed marriage. I took some time to decide as he was - [DID SHE CHEAT?](https://family-counseling.org/did-she-cheat/) - A male reader writes, "I need advice on what to do. My wife has been abused, raped and mistreated [before].... Last Thursday, my wife went our mutual friend's...to watch his kid for him.... When he got home, he tricked her to drink alcohol.... He then commenced to do things (take her clothes off, touch her, - [LOVE OR DESPERATION?](https://family-counseling.org/love-or-desperation/) - Being beautiful, skinny or rich doesn't guarantee relationship happiness. Hollywood hook-ups and break-ups show us this over and over. What we think will make us happily mated, doesn't always do so.I saw a foster child in play therapy yesterday. On Fridays, my husband and I enjoy going together to do in-home therapy with foster kids. - [THE LOVING KISS-OFF](https://family-counseling.org/the-loving-kiss-off/) - I took a daughter of mine to a distant city yesterday and left her there. She's entering a doc grad program at a university and is now immersed in adjusting to a new city and teaching her first class.Your kids may be your kids all your life, but good parenting means setting them up on - [DON'T OVER-TALK YOUR KIDS](https://family-counseling.org/dont-over-talk-your-kids/) - In parenting, it's sometimes the things you don't say that make the most impact.You love your kids just as I love mine, and you want to shelter them from the foreseeable storms, the things you know will cause them grief. This can be anything from steering them clear of transgressions of the law to hiding - [PERSONALIZE YOUR SEX, PEOPLE](https://family-counseling.org/personalize-your-sex-people/) - "He just wants sex. He doesn't necessarily want me."I hear this alot and it's always said with resentment. Don't go here.Problems with sex are typically an indication of poor communication or no communication. As emotional estrangement builds, sex fades away. When you have a sex disconnect, a relationship disconnect is almost always present.Lots of things - [BE A GOOD "APPRECIATOR"](https://family-counseling.org/be-a-good-appreciator/) - I have a lot of wonderful aspects of my life--a happy marriage, a nice place to live, work I love and a really hot sports car (that didn't cost a huge amount of money. I feel good about that), but I also have crappy days when nothing seems to go right. I mess up and - [NO PERFECT PARENTS](https://family-counseling.org/no-perfect-parents/) - Don't kid yourself, no one parents as well as they wish they did. Raising kids is one of the hardest things on this earth and when you put pressure on yourself to parent your kids without ever messing up, you're being too harsh. And unrealistic.You Weren't Treated Well:Most individuals--even if they appreciate the effort their - [MARRIAGE OVER?](https://family-counseling.org/marriage-over/) - Many an individual comes to my office saying their relationship just isn't how we used to be. They're trying to sort out what to do with the marriage--whether to leave or to stay and keep plugging away. These folks report eroded emotions. That which used to be loving and connected, just isn't anymore.When you get - [CHOSEN LAST](https://family-counseling.org/chosen-last/) - The majority of folk remember being chosen last when playing games at school. This can't actually have been the case because just looking at it statistically, most had to have been picked somewhere in the middle. But lots of people identify with that chosen last feeling. The memory of this childhood trauma is an indication - [NECESSARY POWER](https://family-counseling.org/necessary-power/) - Some parents feel harassed and hounded by their kids. They feel like the children in their lives have all the power. Ever tried to make a kid eat when he didn't want to? Or make one sleep when he doesn't want to? These are very frustrating situations and can make the most sane parents feel - [IMPLICIT LESSONS -- DON'T NAG](https://family-counseling.org/implicit-lessons-dont-nag/) - Don't nag. Most lessons in life come from us getting the natural consequences of our choices. Even though pointing out the bad choice or ugly behavior is very, very tempting, it doesn't help. As parents, we have a tendency to talk and talk to our kids, making sure they understand the errors of their ways. - [FRIENDLY FIRE--WHEN YOUR MATE CHEATS](https://family-counseling.org/friendly-fire-when-your-mate-cheats/) - A reader in the military writes:"I am currently deployed to Afghanistan and my husband is deployed to Iraq. I received an email yesterday from him stating that he has a six month old son. We have only been married for 12 months. He said it happened before we got married, but we have a 10 - [MOM BETRAYAL? OR BAD DECISIONS ALL AROUND](https://family-counseling.org/mom-betrayal-or-bad-decisions-all-around/) - One reader writes that she's having trouble because she found out that her mom slept with her guy:"I'm a 21 year old female. I haven't had a very good relationship with my mother over the last year and I'm having a very hard time with that because we've been close all my life. The event - [IS SEX AN ADDICTION?](https://family-counseling.org/is-sex-an-addiction/) - Don't feel alone--lots of folks are dealing with this problem. Whether this involves mainly an addiction to pornography or you've progressed to the point of meeting strangers for quick hook-ups, sex addiction can take a huge toll. It interferes with real personal relationships and can take over your life.Recent research indicates some new and troubling - [NO TOUCHING? NO TALK? NO SEX?](https://family-counseling.org/no-touching-no-talk-no-sex/) - These may not be unconnected. Except for the most disconnected individuals, sex is about intimacy. If you've got an established relationship, you can jump into sex directly and intimacy follows, but this isn't typically how it works. Most of us need some level of emotional intimacy before things get physical. Even individuals who jump into - [REJECTION SUCKS...BUT ITS SURVIVABLE](https://family-counseling.org/rejection-sucks-but-its-survivable/) - First a response to someone who solicited it:S. writes "I'm a 30 year-old Muslim, married a month ago. I saw my wife only one time and, at that time, I was satisfied with her, but then I got her photo and I wasn't fully satisfied when I saw it. I informed my parents I was - [GIVING HIM UP...](https://family-counseling.org/giving-him-up/) - Responding first to readers have asked for help:"I am a 22 year old single mother and I have a two year old son. I was not ready for my son when I became pregnant. I love my son a lot, but lately I have not been able to deal with all the whining that he's - [SETTLING: Better Than Nothing?](https://family-counseling.org/settling-better-than-nothing/) - Before I get to the subject of this column, I want to respond to several emails from readers that who actually asked for advice:"They Won't Let Me Drive" writes that he's a 22 year old and his parents, with whom he still lives, insist he take "their test" before they allow him to get his - ["I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO..."](https://family-counseling.org/i-love-you-enough-to/) - Few things make hearts grow bigger and emotions rise than looking down at the face of a newborn who depends on you. Parenting is a major life choice and it leads individuals into enriching and challenging moments...some that are both at the same time.But it's important to realize what love is and what it's not.Most - ["SHOULD I LEAVE HIM?" TOUGH DECISION](https://family-counseling.org/should-i-leave-him-tough-decision/) - To an outsider, relationship decisions may seem very clear, but both financial and emotional considerations can make these less obvious.What if you're with a cheater? Most individuals stay in a relationship through one infidelity--"he was drunk", "we'd had a fight", "we were going through a rough patch". You probably have many things to sort through. - [THINK BEFORE HAVING KIDS](https://family-counseling.org/think-before-having-kids/) - Few would argue that children change things, we just not always clear on what that means. Having kids isn't an automatic action--they deserve better and so do you.There are lots of reasons given for having children, the most disturbing of which is one of the most frequently cited: If you don't have kids who will - [TROUBLESOME RELATIVES](https://family-counseling.org/troublesome-relatives/) - Everyone's got them--relatives who make you nuts and leave you wanting to shake some sense into them.S.D. writes "I have a mother who is VERY HARD to communicate with. My mother and older sister are so much alike. I've never had a close relationship with either of them. There are a lot of issues I - [I WAS HAPPY WHEN...](https://family-counseling.org/i-was-happy-when/) - Nostalgia has it's place, but don't forget to be somewhat realistic about the old days. Happiness is a general condition of feeling good about one's life, good about one's work and good about relationships--basically, feeling good about one's self. It's easy to get sucked into the belief that former days were golden times with little - [NOT MY KID!](https://family-counseling.org/not-my-kid/) - We are a nation of individuals who are very defined by our choices. We're fiercely protective of our rights and our freedoms. We argue these in the legislature and in the press. We demand freedom of choice...but we have a hard time allowing the same to our children.Parents are tremendously important in children's lives. As - [ARGUING, NOT FIGHTING](https://family-counseling.org/arguing-not-fighting/) - You may not like to argue, but doing so is the only way to work through conflict in the relationship. Don't think you can just ignore issues and they'll go away. But arguing doesn't have to mean yelling, screaming and hurling your cell phones at one another.There's productive arguing and unproductive arguing. Whether you call - [OVER-SCHEDULED?](https://family-counseling.org/over-scheduled/) - As a result of our cultural desire to be "productive" all the time, we're creating a nation of people whose minds take temporary, mandatory vacations. You may believe--and have been told this by parents, bosses and the media--that you need to make the most of your time. What's not addressed in this is the brain - [LABELED ABNORMAL](https://family-counseling.org/labeled-abnormal/) - Adopting a "psychologically disabled" lifestyle is becoming a career choice for some and a lifestyle for others. With the societal acceptance of emotional challenges has come a sad embracing of incapacity.Good therapists want to help you get functional and happy.It's important to accept that we all have issues. Life is full of challenges and these - [CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE?](https://family-counseling.org/caught-in-the-middle/) - John writes that his "Daughter is sixteen [and] clueless about how much her mother does for her. [My wife] drives her to lessons and the mall. Our daughter only does chores when asked." But John has a bigger problem. His wife is "...set off by almost anything and deals with most issues by getting angry." - [GETTING PROOF](https://family-counseling.org/getting-proof/) - One reader writes, "How do I know my mate is cheating? He tells me I'm imagining things. Maybe he's right. Do I need to sneak around and read his texts to get proof that he's seeing someone else?"The sad truth is that too many people are cheating. Some estimates suggest that 80% of individuals have - [FEED THE MARRIAGE](https://family-counseling.org/feed-the-marriage/) - Complacency is the enemy of committed relationships and it's oh, so easy to fall into. Expecting life to go on as it has is understandable, but when you get too comfortable with your marriage, trouble is surely ahead.Daily life can be consuming and deadening. There are bills to pay, jobs that demand a lot of - [PARENTING SCARY TEENS?](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-scary-teens/) - A reader says, "Our oldest daughter just turned 17 in October. She has a lot of typical teenage attitudes, but some of this is getting scary. She acts like the entire world owes her everything and she launches into her "Exorcist" mode if she doesn't get whatever she wants. She yells, swears at us, screams - [BETTER NOT TO KNOW](https://family-counseling.org/better-not-to-know/) - There's a time in the parenting experience when it's better not to know exactly what they're doing. As your children get older, you have less input into their choices. You don't get to choose who they're dating, what career they're pursuing or how they parent their own children.You're best not knowing the details of their - [MISERABLY MARRIED](https://family-counseling.org/miserably-married/) - Jumping out of a marriage when the going gets rough isn't always the best choice--let's be honest, there are challenging moments in all relationships--but there are a lot a foolish reasons to stay if the marriage is consistently unhappy.Bad Reason For Staying #1: The reason most people give for not divorcing(when they want to divorce) - [THE WRONGNESS OF BEING RIGHT](https://family-counseling.org/the-wrongness-of-being-right/) - Let's all admit it--we love being right. It just feels good. But this is one feel-good situation that can have ugly side effects. There naturally are conflicts in relationships, disagreements that can be trivial or bitter or both.You have different view points, different religions, different opinions of Obama. Whatever. You need to realize, though, that - [RECYCLED KIDS](https://family-counseling.org/recycled-kids/) - Therapists who work with the kids in the foster system try to help these children realize they've done nothing to deserve being there--they aren't foster children because they're bad or because they've done bad things. They've just had incredibly bad luck.In an age when couples spend tens of thousands of dollars to conceive or to - [DATING HOW-TO](https://family-counseling.org/dating-how-to/) - Get a Clear Picture of The Life You WantThis is important. If you see yourself and a large family living in the mountains, you don't need to get with a guy who doesn't want kids or who can't imagine living outside the city. If you dream of traveling to far off lands, don't get with - [NEW BABY AND FAMILY RIFTS](https://family-counseling.org/new-baby-and-family-rifts/) - A frustrated husband and father writes "We have been married for about 18 months and had our first daughter six months back in June.... For the two years my wife and I dated as well as the first year of our marriage, the four of us(my parents and us) got along incredibly well.... When we - [DIVIDED FAMILIES, INHERITANCE WOES](https://family-counseling.org/divided-families-inheritance-woes/) - "My sister and I are grown and on our own for fifteen plus years. We have [now] been disowned by our father for the past year. Our mother passed away 7 years ago, [but] just last year her mother passed away. [Our] father became very upset when my mother's portion of the inheritance from our - [FAMILY FRUSTRATIONS?](https://family-counseling.org/family-frustrations/) - 'Tis the season to be jolly...and shop and eat and spend time with family, although that last one may be making you nuts. These are the folks you grew up with and sometimes you want to bash their heads together. Most of us love the people who share our DNA, but that doesn't make the - [INFIDELITY DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN](https://family-counseling.org/infidelity-doesnt-just-happen/) - K. from Kentucky is very distressed that he's cheated on his wife with a woman he says he cares for, but not as much as he loves his wife. He's going to confess this to his wife (he doesn't know how or when), but fears this will break them up.Probably.Since they don't live together and - [OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDSHIP](https://family-counseling.org/opposite-sex-friendship/) - Contrary to some opinions, men and women can be friends. Sex can be terrific fun, but that doesn't mean that all possible sexual partners turn you on. Sometimes, you just like another person apart from any interest in seeing him naked.Men and women can be friends. This doesn't usually work if they just broke up, - [WHEN TO BE "NICE," WHEN TO BE DIRECT](https://family-counseling.org/when-to-be-nice-when-to-be-direct/) - You're always supposed to be nice...right? That's the message in the Santa Claus song("....He knows when you've been naughty. He knows when you've been nice...") and that's what most mothers tell their kids. Particularly girl children.But niceness has limitations. Sometimes you need to state the facts and let happen what happens.NICEWhen you're on the phone - [PLEASE DON'T LEAVE](https://family-counseling.org/please-dont-leave/) - It is a sad fact that relationships end. Sometimes with no obvious warning and sometimes with lots of break-up/get-back-together phases. Losing an individual who's been very important in your life can be tremendously painful.If you've struggled through long, hard relationship battles, the end to it all can almost be a relief, but even then, individuals - [DON'T HIDE PATERNITY](https://family-counseling.org/dont-hide-paternity/) - In the last century, parents routinely hid the fact of children being adopted and did everything they could to avoid discovery of this. The reasons for this well-meant deception aren't obvious, but if there was then a stigma attached to the adopted situation, there isn't now. There is, however, a sad reality that not all - [MOM ISSUES](https://family-counseling.org/mom-issues/) - Having issues with a parent is so common it's become comedien-fodder. Think about all the "Mom" jokes you've heard. There are few things more that effect you more than how you get along with your parents.They were massively involved in your developing self-worth and their lives impacted you at a very sensitive time...they probably still - [ADULT CHILDREN](https://family-counseling.org/adult-children/) - It's not enough that they gave you stretch marks before birth and heart attacks every time your kids ran for the street, they're still troubling your sleep now. And they're all grown up. It may not seem like your adult child--over the age of eighteen--is acting very mature, but you have to come to accept - [SHORT-TERM CONSEQUENCES](https://family-counseling.org/short-term-consequences/) - It's sad, but the only way we learn is to get the consequences of our choices. Some of these, though, are big and scary. You certainly don't want your children getting the natural consequences of running out into the street. Much of parenting is blocking the big consequences until the kid can learn to safe-guard - [BLENDING FAMILIES](https://family-counseling.org/blending-families/) - With relationships failing and adults later dating and re-mating, children frequently become an issue. Parenting has both it's challenges and blessings, but what do you do when parenting problems spill into your relationship?S.A. writes "...we're very happy with the exception of my boyfriend not liking my daughter. It wasn't this way in the beginning, but - [GROWING UP TOO FAST](https://family-counseling.org/growing-up-too-fast/) - Parents understandably worry about their teens and pre-teens rushing into adult choices. You know the risks, the dangers waiting. You've been their age and you'd probably do a few things differently yourself.One reader writes asking for advice about "...what to do with my daughter. She's 16 years old and I've caught her on more than - [ALONE BY CHOICE?](https://family-counseling.org/alone-by-choice/) - Why give yourself the grief of one more failed relationship? Why not opt out on the whole thing and embrace personal isolationism? Dump the significant other search, let your kids(if you have any) go to the devil and live all alone? It sounds like a relief, if you've been beating your head against relationship walls. - [PORN--THE DISCONNECTED CONNECTION](https://family-counseling.org/porn-the-disconnected-connection/) - Looking at strangers doing sex acts can have an odd sense of intimacy to it. You're watching erotic images which triggers your own arousal. It's not exactly auto-eroticism because you're not completely by yourself. You can get into lots of variations from just looking at images on your monitor or in magazines from having sexual - [MAKING UP RIGHT](https://family-counseling.org/making-up-right/) - You're starting to think about her calling without wanting to throw your cell phone out the window and the blow-up has blown over. Now, what? While it's very tempting to snuggle up to your squeeze and pretend the whole thing never happened, this would be a mistake.The problem with letting bygones be bygones is that - [WHAT YOUR KIDS SAY ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP](https://family-counseling.org/what-your-kids-say-about-your-relationship/) - Your kids may actually want you to get a divorce, particularly if you and your mate are fighting a lot or if your fights are ugly. Don't think your children don't know when the two of you are arguing. They may be plugged into their MP3 players and texting on their cell phones while playing - [EASY ISN'T EASY](https://family-counseling.org/easy-isnt-easy/) - Hard is no fun, but taking the easy road will buy you some ugly consequences. Whether we're talking relationships or jobs, be suspicious of those that don't require anything from you. Nothing that comes cheap is worth much.This isn't to say you should climb Everest or look for impossible suitors. Just know that easy breezy - [YOU DON'T GET TO TELL YOUR EX](https://family-counseling.org/you-dont-get-to-tell-your-ex/) - Divorce is tough on kids, but parents who are divorcing get a real shock, too. While you might not think about this while you're dealing with property settlements and child support, you need to realize that co-parenting with a divorced parent isn't the same as co-parenting with a mate with whom you're still involved.The break-up - [RELATIONSHIP POISON](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-poison/) - If you want to kill your relationship, never resolve conflicts. When you argue, make sure you repeat your points over and over and never listen to his. When he's talking, be thinking about what you have to say next. Get mad when he yells, and make sure you don't hear what he's trying to say.True, - [NOT TOO COMFORTABLE](https://family-counseling.org/not-too-comfortable/) - The womb was comfortable for your child, but he had to leave it eventually. He had to be born, to separate himself from you and to be his own person. He had to grow up.As a parent, you've put big effort into taking care of him. You spent a fortune on his athletic shoes and - [ALWAYS ASK WHY](https://family-counseling.org/always-ask-why/) - Understanding life is only less difficult than understanding yourself and the people who are important to you. Always ask why--Why you've taken a specific action or why your friend said a certain thing. Why is an important question to develop understanding.Make sure, though, that you're really questioning, not accusing. This is important when you're trying - [YOU CAN'T MAKE IT WORK](https://family-counseling.org/you-cant-make-it-work/) - It takes two people to make a relationship work, but only one to walk away. This might not seem fair when your heart and your life are on the line, but she doesn't have to stay. Sometimes people leave, even when you're trying your hardest. You may turn yourself inside out to keep her happy, - [PARENTING: A JOB WITH TERM LIMITS](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-a-job-with-term-limits/) - There are two parts of parenting--the role of nurturing and educating your young children and the love you have for them. One role will last as long as you draw breath, but the other has a shelf life. When your child is little, your job is to shelter and protect, as well as, love her. - [COPING SKILLS--MIXED BLESSINGS?](https://family-counseling.org/coping-skills-mixed-blessings/) - When you were a kid, you developed coping skills. You were small and poorly-equipped for dealing with many of life's challenges and you did the best you could. Whether you hid and avoided risky, conflicted situations or met them swinging and got into a bunch of fights, you did your best to survive.Even if you - [IT WON'T BLOW OVER](https://family-counseling.org/it-wont-blow-over/) - I hate to break it to you, but disagreements don't just go away. You might stop arguing about something, but that doesn't mean the conflict evaporates. Couples sometimes want to believe whatever they're fighting about will just drift away, but this doesn't really happen. You have a point; he has a point. You both have - [STOP DEFENDING YOURSELF](https://family-counseling.org/stop-defending-yourself/) - This also comes under the heading of explaining. You might want to tell your significant other why you've done something (or not done something), but be careful. When you explain yourself, you can sound defensive.When you're in the middle of an argument, you naturally want your partner to understand what you're saying. Too often, though, - [Fix The Kid](https://family-counseling.org/fix-the-kid/) - Parents frequently call for counseling when they're tearing their hair out, furious and frustrated. Their child is flunking, fighting or giving them attitude and they want the kid fixed.They want back the young, loving child they once had who gave them sticky-faced hugs and mispronounced their words. That kid was afraid of the dark or - [SHAKE THE STUPID OFF](https://family-counseling.org/shake-the-stupid-off/) - Everyone screws up sometimes. Most people screw up over and over, and this doesn’t have anything to do with how smart they are. When it comes to relationships, even the most intelligent people sometimes make goofy choices or say things they don’t really mean or do stuff they shouldn’t do. It happens.The most important part - [TOO AVAILABLE?](https://family-counseling.org/too-available/) - Break-ups are painful, particularly if you don’t want to break-up with your significant other. And few things are black-and-white. Maybe you can work it out. Every relationship has bumps along the way. You might have done or said some stupid, unkind things and you’re sorry for these. If your partner is walking away, it’s understandable - [TAKING THE CHALLENGE](https://family-counseling.org/taking-the-challenge/) - Going for the job you want, but are afraid you won’t get. Sticking by your word and following-through on difficult, but educational consequences for your kid. Actually asking for—and listening to—your mate’s feedback on what you do that makes him/her crazy. Standing up for what you believe, even when it’s unpopular and may lose you - [DON’T MONITOR GROWN CHILDREN](https://family-counseling.org/dont-monitor-grown-children/) - I know they screw up. I know you love them and you don’t want them mess up their lives. You’ve been down a few roads and you know a thing or two, but that doesn’t mean you need to be monitoring your adult children. You don’t get to tell them how to live their lives—or - [MARITAL MULTIPLE OFFENDERS](https://family-counseling.org/marital-multiple-offenders/) - It is very natural to want a relationship, someone to cherish and comfort you. Someone who loves you and is committed to being with you. Most human beings want just this.Relationships, though, are challenging, frustrating and maddening. They are the hardest thing we do in this world. Even the most highly intelligent individuals with great - [THE HOMEWORK POWER STRUGGLE](https://family-counseling.org/the-homework-power-struggle/) - If you care about theirhomework more than the kids do, there’s a problem. This is the kids’ issue, not yours. It’s not about whether you’re a good or a bad parent. It’s about the kid. Even really great parents have sometimes have kids who do poorly in school.Trying to wrestle your kids into doing homework - [GOODBYE HURTS, BUT CHEATING HURTS WORSE](https://family-counseling.org/goodbye-hurts-but-cheating-hurts-worse/) - Blocked relationships are like clogged plumbing—the emotional stuff has to go somewhere. If you’re in a relationship with issues that have been unresolved for a long time, you’re vulnerable to falling into something with someone else. The longer your primary relationship goes unresolved, the more likely this is to happen.Leaving an unhappy relationship can seem - [Doing Your Half](https://family-counseling.org/doing-your-half/) - You’ve probably heard that relationships sometimes require you to give 110%. It is true that you sometimes give more when your mate is struggling, but you need to also know that you don’t get to tell your significant other what to do. The most challenging part of love is that, while you are impacted by - [Good Parent / Bad Parent?](https://family-counseling.org/good-parent-bad-parent/) - Don’t think you can judge whether or not you’ve been a good parent by the choices your children make. It may seem like your parenting success should have a clear outcome, but that’s not the case. The children of really terrific parents sometimes make really bad choices. The goal is simple: happy, healthy, well-behaved children - [Everyone Needs to Win](https://family-counseling.org/everyone-needs-to-win/) - This is Relationship 101. No one likes to lose. Losing sucks and if you feel like your mate wins every argument, you won’t stay there long. Some folks try to deal with this winning-losing issue by never fighting, but this just doesn’t work. Like it or hate it, all relationships have conflict. Even if you - [Feeling Inadequate](https://family-counseling.org/feeling-inadequate/) - Don’t be too harsh with yourself. While you are aren’t perfect, you aren’t horrible, either. You’re actually a lot more capable than you think. Self-image is a difficult area for most. You probably started of life with some glaring inaccuracies—things your parents said(whether they meant these to be taken to heart or not), things you - [New Love, Old Love](https://family-counseling.org/new-love-old-love/) - Break-up, then go out and find a new love. Then, when that love grows stale and unfulfilling, the cycle starts again. This is the pattern many people fall into. Relationships are hard, perhaps the hardest thing individuals do and many of them fail. Some relationships fall apart while you’re still in them; others end with - [Listen to the Panic](https://family-counseling.org/listen-to-the-panic/) - Your heart starts pounding, you feel sick to your stomach and you wonder if you’re having a heart attack. You rush to the Emergency Room…and the physicians rule out a cardiac event. This is a relief, but you wonder what the heck happened. Something happened, for sure. The medical personnel may tell you that you - [Disconnected Connections](https://family-counseling.org/disconnected-connections/) - With as many communication options as you have now, you’d think connecting with others would be easier than ever. Texting, cell phones, MySpace and more. It’s not like most of the interactions that take place through these portals are brilliant. Sometimes, you just want contact with another human being. Relationships are complicated. Whether you are - [Don't Rob Your Child](https://family-counseling.org/dont-rob-your-child/) - You’ll never stop loving your kid, no matter what, but it may be time to stop parenting.This world can be tough. Whether your kid is eighteen and joining the army to fight the bad guys or twenty-eight and unable to find a career, you still love him. Even when you don’t like what he’s doing - [Don't Dis The In-Laws](https://family-counseling.org/dont-dis-the-in-laws/) - You and your significant other had a huge fight and the two of you are hardly talking. Maybe he left and spent the night elsewhere; maybe you’ve been apart for several days or weeks. It may look like there’s large black cloud over the future and you two have issues you’re not sure how to - [Time to Commit](https://family-counseling.org/time-to-commit/) - Delaying a relationship commitment until you’re sure? You might want to rethink this. Rushing into living with the person you’re dating or marrying quickly can be a mistake, but the opposite can be true, too. Dating the same person for years with no real commitment smacks of unaddressed, unresolved issues or plain, old, knee-knocking fear. - [You're Not Bad](https://family-counseling.org/youre-not-bad/) - Yes, you’ve done some stupid things. You’ve even been vindictive and mean-spirited. Sometimes, you get really, really angry, and you may strike out at those who’ve hurt you. None of this makes you a bad person. It makes you human. Badness is a choice that becomes ingrained over multiple actions. You have to work at - [We're All Heroes](https://family-counseling.org/were-all-heroes/) - When life is complicated and challenging, it’s natural to want someone to rely on. Someone to believe in. Someone who can make things better. You want someone to save us from the bad, scary things, but you need to be careful. Focusing on heroes can sometimes keep us on-lookers in life, rather than participants. During - [Ready to Forgive?](https://family-counseling.org/ready-to-forgive/) - Forgiving an offense or a breach of relationship can be healing to the victim, but rushing into forgiveness doesn’t make the hurt go away. It just goes underground and you still struggle to move forward with your life. Hatred and rage damage the person harboring those feelings. Going forward from that experience is important, but - [Have Faith in Them](https://family-counseling.org/have-faith-in-them/) - When your kids, your mate or your relatives are making really bad choices, the most difficult thing to do is believe they can straighten themselves out. It is typical to want to tell them a few realities. You might have a powerful urge to straighten them out yourself. Resist. Messing up and making bad choices - [Anger = Fear](https://family-counseling.org/anger-fear/) - Rage is ugly, but maybe the problem isn’t your anger. Emotion is a vital part of being human. You need to feel happiness, sadness, anxiety and, even, anger—emotion is part of the weather system of our inner worlds. If you punch holes in walls, though, or scare your significant other when you’re mad, anger can - [Don't Be a Distraction](https://family-counseling.org/dont-be-a-distraction/) - Loving another person can be the hardest challenge in your life, particularly when the one you love—a mate, a child, or a friend—is making difficult choices. When these choices are positive in that person's life, you cheer. When the choices are destructive, though, you can have a range of emotions that threaten to tear you - [Raising Self Esteem](https://family-counseling.org/raising-self-esteem/) - Putting others down doesn’t really make you feel better, but the temptation can be strong. Particularly when you see someone who seems to have it all—money, relationship and perfect teeth. If they drive a great car, that’s even worse. It’s easy to feel less-than with others. You may feel like your life is a mess. - [Intimacy and Intensity - Not the Same](https://family-counseling.org/intimacy-and-intensity-not-the-same/) - Relationships might be very intense, but that doesn’t make them healthy. You can find yourself in an interaction that involves powerful jealousy, huge fights and amazing make-up sex. Nothing may make you feel as horrible or as terrific. You can find yourself flipped between two extremes. When it’s good, nothing is better. When it’s bad, - [Arguing Over Stupid Stuff](https://family-counseling.org/arguing-over-stupid-stuff/) - Sometimes you argue with your mate about important, life-changing things, but sometimes it seems like you fight about nothing! Lots of couples can’t say exactly what they fight about. They get into big arguments and bicker, but when asked what they argue about, they can’t say. Many will claim they mostly argue about stupid things. - [Telling Your Kids Lies (You Want To Believe)](https://family-counseling.org/telling-your-kids-lies-you-want-to-believe/) - It’s not that you’re deliberately dishonest with your child. You want everything for him. You want him to be happy, to find just the right job, the right mate, and to be happy with the life he chooses.You may still by lying. Truthfully, parenting lies can look so harmless.There are the lies you’d like to - [Hung Up Relationships](https://family-counseling.org/hung-up-relationships/) - Relationships are hard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If theirs isn’t hard now (and it probably is—they’re just lying), it will be eventually.If yours is tough sometimes, It’s not just you.The hardest of all relationships is a sneaky kind that looks really easy, in the beginning. You may feel like you speak the same - [Relationship Conflict That Works](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-conflict-that-works/) - Aside from the make-up sex, arguing with your mate really sucks. The sad part is that the fighting doesn’t usually get anywhere. Most people don’t know how to argue effectively. Conflict can work for you. You just need to know how to do it. Resolving conflict can empower a relationship. Just think about your favorite - [Failure's Message](https://family-counseling.org/failures-message/) - It could be that you’re just a screw-up, but that would mean that everyone who ever failed at anything is also a screw-up. History is littered with huge successes that failed miserably for a while before hitting it big. Everyone messes up. Don’t kid yourself, it’s not just you. The real challenge is in finding - [Breaking Up](https://family-counseling.org/breaking-up/) - Never say “if it’s this hard, it probably wasn’t meant to be” about your relationship. Don’t kid yourself. Relationships are hard. In fact, they’re probably one of the hardest things you’ll do in your life. Of course, relationships can be rewarding, fulfilling and a lot of fun, too. But they’re not always easy. If it - [Don't Forgive Too Fast](https://family-counseling.org/dont-forgive-too-fast/) - Everyone gets hurt—damaged by someone else’s actions or offended by comments that shouldn’t have been made. Some individuals are the victims of a major breach in their relationships. This can leave you gasping in pain, particularly when the injury comes from your mate, your mother or your best friend. These are individuals to whom you’ve - [Love Bi-Polar](https://family-counseling.org/love-bi-polar/) - No one just leaves a relationship, anymore. They torture each other for a while first. Most people don’t have a clue about how to break up or to do the reverse—fight productively. They don’t actually get anywhere, really. You’d probably like to be in a relationship where the two of you always get along and - [Does Everyone Cheat?](https://family-counseling.org/does-everyone-cheat/) - We’re almost getting used to hearing about politicians who cheat on their wives. It seems crazy for them to do this when they have so much to lose. Yet, they continue to cheat. It’s not just politicians, either. Cheating is rampant. You probably know friends who’ve cheated…or been cheated on. Maybe both. You may have - [College Smart](https://family-counseling.org/college-smart/) - So, you’re supposed to get a college degree in order to make a decent living. Right? If you don’t want to work at McDonalds—nothing against those folks(they’re saints to put up with what they have to put up with)—you’ll need a profession. General opinion is that you need to go to college to get, at - [Never Give Up](https://family-counseling.org/never-give-up/) - You can change your mind and decide chasing a dream isn’t worthwhile, but giving up because you doubt yourself is failure on a large level. Just recently, Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University, and author of The Last Lecture, died of pancreatic cancer. One significant advice in Pausch’s final lecture was the recommendation - [Taking the Drive-Thru Hostage](https://family-counseling.org/taking-the-drive-thru-hostage/) - Let’s talk about passive-aggressive power. Lots of people feel powerless and angry about it. To be honest, powerlessness breeds anger. Whether with your supervisor at your job or in your relationship with your mate or just in general, you can feel like nothing you do makes a difference. This is often the thinking behind destructive, - [A Sense of Their Limitations](https://family-counseling.org/a-sense-of-their-limitations/) - As parents, we want everything wonderful for our kids. And they are amazing. They say the funniest things. They figure out tough situations that we’d never expected them to be able to deal with. They get great grades in math when we suck in math. They are beautiful, intelligent creatures. But we lie to our - [When Infidelity is the Answer](https://family-counseling.org/when-infidelity-is-the-answer/) - If you’ve ever been cheated on, you might want to answer “Never!” to this question. But a lot of people are being unfaithful to their partners and they’re not all terrible people with no morals. Some are just confused and making unfortunate choices. In some situations, cheating can seem like the best thing to do. - [When You Hate the Kid You Love](https://family-counseling.org/when-you-hate-the-kid-you-love/) - Don’t tell your kid, you’ll never be disappointed in him. You will be. You are. When the child you’ve nurtured, the kid with a limitless future and a hundred joyful gifts, sells himself short, you’ll be upset, sad and angry. When he doesn’t go for the goal he wants because he’s convinced he can’t achieve - [Failure - Just a Corrective Tool](https://family-counseling.org/failure-just-a-corrective-tool/) - You never know how to hit your goals if you don’t have some feedback when you miss the mark. Think of failure—even crushing failure—as a voice telling you “a little to the left.” Screwing up and blowing situations is part of the path to success. A bump in the road. Don’t ever believe you can - [What Real Love Looks Like](https://family-counseling.org/what-real-love-looks-like/) - Most people are confused about what’s love and what isn’t. You may have a rush of heat when a man walks in. Maybe love’s scary and exciting, like sky diving. Or safe and comforting, like a fire in the fireplace on a cold night. Not everyone wants the same kind of love. There are some - ["He's So Controlling!"](https://family-counseling.org/hes-so-controlling/) - Some people need to be told what to do. At least, that’s what he says when you protest his dictating to you. Or maybe that’s what you think about him. When you’re in a relationship, you are affected by the other person’s behavior. Your partner is impacted by your choices, too, so he gets to - [Perfect Kid](https://family-counseling.org/perfect-kid/) - First of all, there is no such thing. No matter how much energy you put into your parenting, no matter how smart and beautiful your kid is: Perfection isn’t a possibility. If you think your kid doesn’t screw up, doesn’t make ridiculous mistakes and bad choices, you’re not paying close enough attention. The truth is - [Love Without Pain](https://family-counseling.org/love-without-pain/) - The problem with loving another person is that you automatically care what happens to them. You care what they do or what others do to them. They matter to you. They are significant to you. Where there is significance, there is the possibility—let’s be honest—the probability of emotional distress. Pain. The old saying that you - [You Can't Always See the Results](https://family-counseling.org/you-cant-always-see-the-results/) - Every action has a result…it just may not be immediate. Some people struggle with seeing the consequences when it comes to choices they make. One definition of insanity is to repeat the same actions, thinking you’ll get a different result, but what if the result isn’t clear right away. The tendency for many is to - [Strive for Spectacular Failure](https://family-counseling.org/strive-for-spectacular-failure/) - You’re not always going to be right or act right, no matter what. That’s just a reality of life. But avoiding failure at all costs, costs way too much. In The Last Lecture, a new book by Randy Pausch, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, the author talks about going for your dreams. - [Traumatized? The Unrecognized Reality](https://family-counseling.org/traumatized-the-unrecognized-reality/) - If you’ve ever witnessed a crime…ever been the victim of abuse, sexual or otherwise…ever served time in a combat zone…or been involved in a natural disaster, you may be suffering a post-traumatic reaction and not know it. Traumatic situations leave a lingering stain on your psyche. This can lead to abusing alcohol or drugs and - [Donkey vs Elephant](https://family-counseling.org/donkey-vs-elephant/) - This tumultuous time in the U.S. political process is showcasing democracy at it’s best. While the current climate seems divisive and even scary, conflict that involves everyone getting to have a say, is good for the health of the nation. It’s also how relationships work best. It is important to remember the validity of perspectives - [How To Break-Up](https://family-counseling.org/how-to-break-up/) - Most people don’t want to do this at all. Breaking-up sucks…unless you’re so beaten down in the relationship that getting out sounds like a huge relief. Or unless you’ve already moved on and you’ve found a new love that won’t ever treat you this badly(you’re sure). Relationships are complicated. So, this whole thing isn’t fun. - [How To Ruin Your Children](https://family-counseling.org/how-to-ruin-your-children/) - Few people love doing without. We tend to crave comfort and all the accessories that come with that. You want all that and more for your kids. It's natural to want to provide for your children. You love them. You want them not to feel embarrassed in front of their friends. You want to rescue - [We're Not Through Killing the Marriage](https://family-counseling.org/were-not-through-killing-the-marriage/) - Some relationships start crappy, others take years to reach this level. The really sad thing is that sometimes individuals don’t want to stop the bad, comfortable habits until it’s too late. Most don’t seek professional help until the next step is calling a lawyer. If you found your soul mate—or a very close fit—you happily - [All Hollow](https://family-counseling.org/all-hollow/) - Love parties? Always have a bunch of friends texting you and wanting to go out? Believe it or not, being out-going can leave you at risk. Extroverted people are comfortable meeting new acquaintances and adapt pretty well to new situations. There’s a downside, though, to being externally focused. Life requires some ability to know your - [Go Ahead, Screw Up](https://family-counseling.org/go-ahead-screw-up/) - Life is more interesting if you make some mistakes occasionally. Perfection is not a possibility. If you’re out in the world, you’re going to goof up. Advice on making the “right” choice is all around you—from your friends, your partner, your mother. You can find lots of advice on how to style your hair to - [Married? No Valentine Love?](https://family-counseling.org/married-no-valentine-love/) - The Golden Rule has serious limitations. Sometimes, doing unto others the way you want done unto you is a huge mistake. You might not care for Valentine’s Day. It may seem like a pointless, made-up holiday created by florists and chocolatiers to rip off as many suckers as possible. Maybe the last token of love - [Relationship Do-Overs](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-do-overs/) - It’s like the fish that got away…. Former lovers. Past relationships that fizzled out or exploded in a blaze of broken hearts. Whether you found each other again at a high school reunion or hooked up once more on MySpace, the temptation to go back to a love from days past can be strong. Ending - [Going With Your Gut](https://family-counseling.org/going-with-your-gut/) - Some decisions just feel right. You have a sense of what you need to do—there may be no question about the choice—but basing every decision on how you feel can lead to a very chaotic life. Emotion alone doesn’t give you a complete reality. You can feel challenged, unloved or frightened, but this can shift - [Can't Be Alone?](https://family-counseling.org/cant-be-alone/) - Have you ever dated someone you really weren't that into? Ever found yourself hanging out with a member of the opposite sex and stumbling into intimacy…just because he was there? Does going out with a bunch of "coupled" friends make you uncomfortable unless you have a date? Do you sometimes avoid going home because there's - [Useless College Degrees](https://family-counseling.org/useless-college-degrees/) - Graduate from college and automatically get a good job? Not necessarily. Students who earn undergraduate degrees in general studies, liberal arts, sociology, and similar majors may find themselves educated, but unemployable when they exit academia. These are just a few college degrees that prepare students for graduate school--you could get into law school with any - [Relationship in Trouble? Don't Wait Too Late](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-in-trouble-dont-wait-too-late/) - Most couples who seek relationship counseling do so one small step ahead of calling a lawyer. You hope it'll just blow over. You've always gotten over conflicts in the past…the same ones you're arguing about now, probably. It's natural to feel a little weird telling a total stranger about the trouble in your relationship. Paying - [Accidental Sex](https://family-counseling.org/accidental-sex/) - "It just happened," you say to a friend. "We were kissing…and one thing led to another." You can say it with excitement or with a grimace. Whether you regret the sex, see it as part of the blossoming of a new relationship or view the experience as just another date, physical intimacy has become another - [Staying "Friends" (or the Confused Divorce)](https://family-counseling.org/staying-friends-or-the-confused-divorce/) - So, if you're divorced, why are you still acting like you're together? Isn't the fact that you felt you couldn't rely on him part of the reason you kicked him out? Didn't she cheat on you with other guys until you got tired of it and called a lawyer? In today's world, the marriage may - [Love Whores](https://family-counseling.org/love-whores/) - Ever sell yourself out just to stay in a relationship? Make promises to appease your partner even when he's in the wrong? Do you walk on eggshells when she's in a bad mood? Is there rarely a week without a big fight? And yet, you still don't leave. Maybe you're scared to be single. Maybe - [Hitting the Relationship "Reset" Button](https://family-counseling.org/hitting-the-relationship-reset-button/) - You meet this really incredible person, you go out, you make-out…and we're off to the races. With today's pacing, relationships go from zero to living together in a matter of weeks. Physical intimacy on the first night of meeting an attractive member of the opposite sex is common. Relationship intimacy, however, in it's very definition - [Depression and Logic](https://family-counseling.org/depression-and-logic/) - You're used to handling life pretty well. Work is sometimes a hassle, but you've got things under control. Maybe things are sometimes rocky in the relationship area, but that's just a fact of life for everyone occasionally. Nothing horrible has happened in your life. Actually, everything is okay. Not much different than usual…except you're having - [Living the Unconscious Life](https://family-counseling.org/living-the-unconscious-life/) - Action without assessment…sound familiar? We tend to do and say things without a conscious reason. And if we have a reason, it's only vaguely coherent. Most behaviors aren't viewed by individuals as chosen. Instead, we fall back on the reactionary stance to validate our actions. "Well, he started it," we say as if we're eight - [Always Your Fault?](https://family-counseling.org/always-your-fault/) - You're the screw-up. Whatever happened, it's your fault! You should have done something different. It's all you. The interesting thing about responsibility is that it cannot be assumed or assigned without conferring power. Almost everyone wants to argue about that, but it is an unavoidable fact. Power and responsibility go hand-in-hand. Just think, if you - [Smart People and Panic Disorder](https://family-counseling.org/smart-people-and-panic-disorder/) - All of the sudden, your heart is slamming against your breast bone with every beat and feels like it's going to jump out of your chest. You're breaking out in a sweat. An excruciating sensation grips your chest. You must be having a heart attack! Cardiac Infarction or Panic Attack? Getting to the E.R. on - [The Attraction of the Abusive Relationship](https://family-counseling.org/the-attraction-of-the-abusive-relationship/) - If you're in an abusive relationship, you'll argue hotly that there's nothing attractive about being abused. If you're a bystander, watching someone you care about stay in an abusive situation, you may have asked why she doesn't leave. Assuming the victim has financial wherewithal and no children to muddy up the waters, why does she - [The Selfish Break-Up](https://family-counseling.org/the-selfish-break-up/) - Not only is breaking up hard to do, it can be confusing and complicated. More and more, people don't want an end that's the end of a relationship. You can view this phenomena as a relationship evolving into something different, or maybe you just suck at resolution. Ending relationships is hard and who likes hard? - [Choosing Your Best Career](https://family-counseling.org/choosing-your-best-career/) - Picking the right career isn't just a challenge for kids graduating from high school. Lots of adults wrestle with finding their niche. You'll find shelves of books in the library and bookstores on career choice. The real challenge is finding the best career for you. Studies show that the average working American will have three - [Choose A Lifestyle, Then A Mate](https://family-counseling.org/choose-a-lifestyle-then-a-mate/) - Ah, love is beautiful and love can work through any problem …, then you marry and experience the reality. He's an atheist and you believe strongly in following your Jewish faith or evangelical Christianity or Buddhism. Whichever faith is yours, you believe in faith and he just doesn't. You had hopes of going to synagoge, - [Outsourcing Your Emotions](https://family-counseling.org/outsourcing-your-emotions/) - Maybe you have people who are important to you…and they don't always make the best decisions. They get emotional about situations and feel very distressed. Naturally, you want to say something or do something to help. You try generally to be rational about problems. Usually, you find a way to handle most things. Not everything, - [Killing Love](https://family-counseling.org/killing-love/) - Love doesn't die…unless you kill it. Love between two romantic partners doesn't just wither and fade away. You don't simply fall in love with someone new when you're already in love with someone else. Truly loving another individual isn't easy, but it's not as mysterious as you'd sometimes like to think, either. There are many - [Advanced Placement Insanity?](https://family-counseling.org/advanced-placement-insanity/) - In 2005, 2.7 million students took the Advanced Placement exams which must be passed before college credit can be earned. Of the students attempting the exams, only 15% passed, which was a slight increase from the previous year. For some, this A.P. reality raises the appeal of the classes: To some it means kids must - [Married? Want Better Sex?](https://family-counseling.org/married-want-better-sex/) - Sex alone doesn't make great relationships, but relationships can make great sex. Over and over, individuals describe marriages--and other committed relationships--that include red hot sex in the beginning, then the sex fades over time. Some mental health professionals even talk about this phenomena as a "natural" diminishing of desire. But before you give up on - [Stay or Go?](https://family-counseling.org/stay-or-go/) - To say that relationships are complicated is an incredible understatement. We're more confused about love than ever. According to the statistics from Rutgers University's The Marriage Project, while the divorce rate is actually declining, so is marriage. Rather than getting married, more people are choosing unmarried relationships. If, however, you've ever participated in a relationship - [Decision-Making: Emotional or Logical](https://family-counseling.org/decision-making-emotional-or-logical/) - Everybody thinks and everybody feels, but some make their decisions more from their heads and some more from their hearts. It is important to note that both these perspectives have value. Admittedly, both also have limitations. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is an instrument which reflects individuals' preferences on four different continuums. One of these four - [Outsourcing Your Emotions, Part 2](https://family-counseling.org/outsourcing-your-emotions-part-2/) - Emotions are messy, sometimes inconvenient and not always pleasant. By definition of the word, whether very positive or very negative, emotions involve an 'agitation or disturbance.' Emotional intensity can be scary and there are individuals who prefer to function out of their rational capacity whenever possible, remaining even-keeled in all eventualities. Who wouldn't want to - [Love and Vulnerability](https://family-counseling.org/love-and-vulnerability/) - One of the greatest joys of love is that it feeds the heart and makes the loved one--friend, lover or child--hugely significant to you. Whatever happens to whomever you love, you're impacted. Good or bad, it matters. Whatever that loved one chooses to do, also matters. It is important here to make the distinction between - [Quick Engagements](https://family-counseling.org/quick-engagements/) - In this world of multiple marriages and repetitious divorces, the rapidity of making romantic commitments--particularly among the young--is increasing. Individuals at one time hesitated to use the word "love" in a relationship due to the implied commitment. Commitment was, for some, a big, scary word and divorce signified failure. These days, however, divorce is sadly - [Our Secrets](https://family-counseling.org/our-secrets/) - No matter how independent you are, other people are still important to you. While you may not want to, you care what others think. Even the most self-sufficient individuals still exist in a social world and there are moments when they struggle with both wanting to be known by others and fearing being known. This - [Respect for the Dating Single](https://family-counseling.org/respect-for-the-dating-single/) - Sometimes, dating sucks. The alternatives, however, are far worse. For those who aren't in committed relationships, the choices are dating or social celibacy. While sometimes frustrating and, at other times, hilarious, dating offers a host of personal development opportunities, the primary one being the possibility of finding a mate. We must acknowledge respect for the - [Craving Intimacy](https://family-counseling.org/craving-intimacy/) - We may not like other people sometimes, but we humans have a need for contact. We stumble in and out of bad relationships, tolerate unhealthy family interactions and struggle to find true friendships. Like it or not, human beings have a need for emotional intimacy. It's hard-wired into us, the urge for contact with others. - [Marriage Trouble?](https://family-counseling.org/marriage-trouble/) - Fighting all the time? The "good" times are really good, but the "bad" times are starting to make you wonder if you should leave? Contrary to our wishful thinking, good marriages aren't easy, but require a lot of work. Personal work. If you're not working on you, then the relationship is probably not good for - [Sex: Hormones and Hope](https://family-counseling.org/sex-hormones-and-hope/) - Done right, sex feels good, but have you ever woken up the next morning and wondered what you were thinking? The truth is you probably weren't thinking. There are some good reasons for engaging in sexual activity. The triad of hormones, relationship and potential fun is the best scenario. We won't address the fun issue - [Parenting Teens](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-teens/) - You love them. They're your kids and there's nothing you wouldn't do for them. If they needed a kidney or someone to snatch them from in front of a speeding car, you wouldn't hesitate. The day-to-day moments are more challenging, however. The developmental tasks of the teen years involve learning to create successful relationships…and they - [Phobia and Emotion](https://family-counseling.org/phobia-and-emotion/) - Emotions are funny things. Are you listening to yours? Some people seem to swim in an emotional world. They make their choices based on their gut feelings and they can tell you three or four emotions they're having at any given moment. This level of emotional awareness, however, can seem negative and overwhelming to some. - [Scared of Your Anger?](https://family-counseling.org/scared-of-your-anger/) - Why of all human emotions do we feel the need to "manage" anger? There are no classes to help you avoid the mistakes you make under the influence of joy or confusion, and let's be real, sometimes they're bad choices. The emotion of anger, however, is associated with bad behavior, like beating the crap out - [Divorce Realities](https://family-counseling.org/divorce-realities/) - "I care about him," she said, "but I'm just not in love with him anymore. We fight a lot of the time and the feeling between isn't there anymore." Should you divorce? Shauna and Parker(not their real names) married right out of college and started careers. After several years, they bought a house in a - [Getting What You Want](https://family-counseling.org/getting-what-you-want/) - "Whenever he slips in his own crap," Neal said of his younger brother, "he always seems to fall in clover." Ever wonder why others seem to get promotions even when their work is no better than yours? They get raises and dates with really hot women, while your life is unexciting and half the time - [Getting Over It](https://family-counseling.org/getting-over-it/) - So you had a thing and now she won't talk to you and you don't really give a flip 'cause talking won't make a damn bit of difference anyway. It never does. She says the same things and you end up saying the same things because she apparently didn't hear you when you said them - [Insomnia and Extraversion](https://family-counseling.org/insomnia-and-extraversion/) - Do you lie awake at night, wondering why you can't fall asleep? Can't stop thinking about your day or a television show you watched? Sleep challenges might have more to do with your personality than your brain. A good thing about being extraverted is that you generally find new situations to be interesting and easy - [Cement Your Relationship](https://family-counseling.org/cement-your-relationship/) - Want to lessen the possibility of a break-up? Does the thought of getting a divorce make you queasy? With correct care and feeding, your relationship can prosper and flourish indefinitely. You need to pay attention not only to the one you love, but to yourself, as well. We live in a time of rapid relationship - [Over-Parenting](https://family-counseling.org/over-parenting/) - Are you robbing your child? Sapping his independence? Maybe you should stop rescuing. You love your kids! You give them everything you can. You'd kill anyone who hurt them…but can parenting be over-done? Are you giving them too much stuff? Doing too much for them? Stepping in to save them when they've done something foolish? - [Gangbangers & Sorority Sisters](https://family-counseling.org/gangbangers-sorority-sisters/) - Everybody needs a friend or two…and friendship is almost as difficult to find these days as love. To be rootless and disconnected is bad for your health and your emotional life. We want to belong. To be connected to others who are like us or, at least, to those who appreciate and value us. Love - [Holiday Dread](https://family-counseling.org/holiday-dread/) - Most people hate the crowds at the mall and for many hearing Christmas carols in October seems like a reason for whacking the first Santa-suited fool spotted. For some, however, the season brings more than the occasional small annoyance. Many people find the holidays to be a season to be survived like a bad dream - [Relationship Ammo](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-ammo/) - Sometimes relationships can feel like a battlefield and all you want is some peace. You smooth things over, trying to avoid any subject that's trouble. Still, in a day or a week, fireworks start up again and the two of you are exchanging ugly words and accusations. The fighting may spring up out of nothing - [Love Lies](https://family-counseling.org/love-lies/) - Don't kid yourself that your relationship is different. Love rarely includes total honesty. In fact, life involves various levels of untruth. Most of us learn as kids that its safer to lie in a variety of situations. We lie to protect ourselves from bad consequences. Lying seems like the best idea in these situations. This - [Kids, College, and Loans](https://family-counseling.org/kids-college-and-loans/) - Let's get real. Going to college on scholarship doesn't work for most kids. While costs for higher education continue to rise and many colleges offer their students some kind of financial aid, that aid usually takes the form of loans. The scholarships that are offered do not generally cover full or even half tuition. While - [The Pre-Cheating Relationship Phase](https://family-counseling.org/the-pre-cheating-relationship-phase/) - As bad as things sometimes are, you're not ready to break-up. Your partner has really made you mad, doesn't listen to you sometimes and doesn't seem interested in what concerns you. You aren't ready to call the moving company, but you probably bitch to your friends. Maybe a lot. You may feel hurt and end - ["A Lover I Can Trust!"](https://family-counseling.org/a-lover-i-can-trust/) - Singles often claim to be searching for a mate they can trust. Someone who won't disappoint them or let them down. This usually comes after being lied to and cheated on. Rather than trying to find a trustworthy lover, you might try putting some trust in yourself. Bad, disappointing, frustrating relationships usually have warning signs - [Psychology of the Bridesmaid Dress](https://family-counseling.org/psychology-of-the-bridesmaid-dress/) - Brides keep asking a slew of their friends to be bridesmaids, when planning The Big Day, and bridesmaids keep dreading the bridesmaid dress. What is this all about? Being asked to participate as an attendant in a wedding party is supposed to be a great compliment. Bridesmaids, however, almost universally dread the dress. Just part - [Guilt -- A Pointless Exercise](https://family-counseling.org/guilt-a-pointless-exercise/) - You have sex with your best friend's girl…you have guilt. That's the way it's supposed to work, right? Guilt is the bad feeling you have when you do something wrong--but wrong is opened to a lot of interpretations. Of course, having sex with a friend's girl is considered guilt-worthy by most(unless he invites you to - [Does Parenting = Growing Petunias?](https://family-counseling.org/does-parenting-growing-petunias/) - Who do I think I am to activate a kid's potential? Am I living the life I want to live? Parents too often get caught in the belief that its their responsibility to make sure their children grow up to be certain kinds of individuals. Its like we're raising a garden, rather than children. If - [Life Changes & Depression](https://family-counseling.org/life-changes-depression/) - Everything is going so great…why do you feel so bad? Marriage, a promotion on the job, retirement, a new child--these are all things people say they want. Reasons to be happy, so why do you feel so overwhelmed and struggle to keep from breaking down into tears? Even new situations--the same ones you've dreamed of--will - [Don't Hate the Boyfriend](https://family-counseling.org/dont-hate-the-boyfriend/) - It's always a temptation to blame the guy she's dating. She's skipping school or lying. She doesn't answer her phone when you call. Parents and friends always want to blame the boyfriend. She was never like this until she started dating him, you want to insist. You may have even wished bad things on him, - [Why Opposites Attract](https://family-counseling.org/why-opposites-attract/) - She likes to go out, and enjoys meeting new people all the time; he likes time for peace and quiet, just the two of them alone. She's very down-to-earth and practical. No nonsense about her! He's an absent-minded professor type. He may be very intelligent, but he sometimes wears one black sock with a blue - [The Messy Room](https://family-counseling.org/the-messy-room/) - Yes, parents, it is your house. You have a responsibility to help your kids grow up into good-functioning adults, but…do you always make your bed? Ironically, the thing most parents complain about is the state of their kids rooms. They can be dealing with kids who are failing in school, kids who use alcohol and - [It's a Bad Relationship If...](https://family-counseling.org/its-a-bad-relationship-if/) - This may seem obvious, but maybe your parents fought all the time and everyone you know has husbands or wives who go through their phones or grill them on who they're talking to. Maybe it doesn't occur to you not to feel jealous. So, this is how a bad relationship looks-- Physical confrontations. Maybe you - [Sometimes Love Sucks](https://family-counseling.org/sometimes-love-sucks/) - Love may make the world go around and a life lived without love may not be much of a life, but let's face it--love can be a bitch. This applies whether we're talking about your mate or your kids. Love can hurt really bad. You may have a relationship that works well and it may - [Gnawing Anxiety](https://family-counseling.org/gnawing-anxiety/) - You may be sitting at your desk at work or driving your car like you do everyday. Nothing is all that different. Nothing is particularly scary, but, all at once, your heart starts pounding and you're scared. You may feel like you're having a heart attack and your breathing may be shallow and urgent. Many - [Parenting Lies You Tell Yourself](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-lies-you-tell-yourself/) - Having kids is one of the scariest things you can do in this life. The urge to become a parent is strong in most, and for many people, not a lot of thought goes into whether or not to become a parent. It's more a question of when, than if. You may find yourself planning, - [Are You The One?](https://family-counseling.org/are-you-the-one/) - Maybe it's time to quit whining about not finding the "right one" and start asking yourself if you're the right one. The dating-mating hunt is huge these days. Just look at the booming internet dating sites. Lots of people struggle with rotten dates and disappointing relationships and you may be doing the same. It might, - [Surviving Grief](https://family-counseling.org/surviving-grief/) - It doesn't feel like you're going to survive. Maybe there are moments when not surviving seems preferable. You soldier on, though, but you're not sure how. You get out of bed. You put one foot in front of the other and, somehow, you make it through another day. Grief can seem to suck the life - [Coping with Infidelity](https://family-counseling.org/coping-with-infidelity/) - Christy and Jake(not their real names) have been married seven years. They have good jobs, two wonderful children, ages three and five, and a decent income. Jake just confessed to having an affair with a co-worker. There are plenty of friends and family who tell Christy she needs to leave him, but Jake is saying - [Because She's My Mom](https://family-counseling.org/because-shes-my-mom/) - One hundred and fifty million cards will be sent this Mother's Day. The celebration of maternal love and devotion ranks behind only Christmas in the number of flowers sent. We love our mothers, even if we don't always like them and we're not sure they like us. "She's always yelling at me. She doesn't like - [How He Loves](https://family-counseling.org/how-he-loves/) - Liz's boyfriend doesn't do anything for Valentine's Day except buy her a lame card from the grocery store and suggest they order pizza instead of her cooking. She cries every February. He's not that good at birthdays, either, always wanting her to tell him exactly what to get her. Whenever she dresses up, all he - [Sometimes Motherhood Sucks (Fatherhood, too)](https://family-counseling.org/sometimes-motherhood-sucks-fatherhood-too/) - A time comes in a parent's life when what you think or want doesn't matter to your kid. She's going her own road and, sometimes, she can reject the things you hold dear. Whether it be lifestyle or religion, your child will make her own choices. I'm offering no excuses here. The job of parent - [Power and Responsibility](https://family-counseling.org/power-and-responsibility/) - Denise feels horrible her marriage fell apart. It's all her fault, she'll state sadly. She didn't love him enough. She harped at him too much and she was too hard to live with. It was all her, not him. Marco knows his 20 year-old son is struggling in college because he can't seem to motivate - [Someone, Whoever, Anyone](https://family-counseling.org/someone-whoever-anyone/) - When you and your current squeeze break-up, what's the first thing you do? Head to the gym? Get a new haircut and wardrobe? Start going out more? Are you immediately shopping for someone new? This is how we deal with grief. Dog die? Buy a new puppy. Get a divorce? Register on Match.com or some - [Necesssary Lessons in Failure](https://family-counseling.org/necesssary-lessons-in-failure/) - Screwing up on a project…or blowing a proposal…or earning a D on a paper can make us feel like worthless losers, but each one of these failures brings us valuable information. We actually need to learn to process failure and rejection. This sounds so wrong! Failure should be avoided at all costs, shouldn't it? Rejection - [Everyone Says I Should Leave You](https://family-counseling.org/everyone-says-i-should-leave-you/) - What if all your friends and relatives really hate your girlfriend? Maybe the two of you get into big fights and she throws you out every other month, leaving you to spend the night on your brother's couch. Possibly your boyfriend gets drunk at your family get-togethers. Or maybe the two of you fight. A - [Parenting: Hold and Release](https://family-counseling.org/parenting-hold-and-release/) - You love your kids and want to protect them from all the bad things in this world. You know you can't, but you want to. When you're really objective, you know your kids have to deal with the stuff that isn't always fun in life, sometimes its downright crappy. So, what's a parent to do? - [Depressed, Maybe You Should Be..](https://family-counseling.org/depressed-maybe-you-should-be/) - Depression feels horrible, but it may have a purpose. Emotions have their own peculiar rationality and are one of the most intriguing aspects of being human. There's a reason why you feel what you feel. For the last decade or so, pharmaceutical companies have been selling the idea that mood is merely a fluke of - [Small Choices, Big Consequences](https://family-counseling.org/small-choices-big-consequences/) - Only a few choices seem big at the moment you're making them. You look down a long aisle of a church and see the person you're marrying--that's a big choice. You look down at the contract you're about to sign for a thirty-year mortgage on a house. That seems big, too, even though you can - [Learning to Love](https://family-counseling.org/learning-to-love/) - It seems so obvious, I mean, who doesn't care about someone? But this is more difficult than it looks. Love is hard, just ask the newly-divorced. It hurts, and who wants to hurt? You could decide to be an island and not care for anyone, but that's not a great option either. You live an - [Embracing Imperfection](https://family-counseling.org/embracing-imperfection/) - Perfectionism is tempting, even though being consumed by the drive to be perfect is bad for you. We may try to be a perfect mother or ideal mate, but we don't necessarily love those who seem to be without flaws. Everyone wants Martha Stewart's soufflé to fall. We tend to resent perfection even as we - [Thinking Seperation?](https://family-counseling.org/thinking-seperation/) - If things are rocky between you two, separating might sound less traumatic and final than breaking-up. You need to think about this, though. Individuals have a variety of reasons they prefer separation. Look clearly at your reasons. If you've been in a committed relationship, you have feelings for the person you've been with--maybe a big - [Seeking Comfort](https://family-counseling.org/seeking-comfort/) - Life can be rough. Work situations can leave you feeling wrung out. Traffic is hell. Your relationship might have land mines you don't know how to avoid. At the end of the day, you can feel frazzled and stressed. You've been battered and your soul needs some comfort. Maybe you've had a fight with your - [But I Still Feel Depressed](https://family-counseling.org/but-i-still-feel-depressed/) - It seems like everyone and their dog are on anti-depressants these days. Who doesn't have times when they just can't get excited about anything? When life seems flat and depressing. It can be difficult to get out of bed some days. Sadly, after a while the happy pills can leave you feeling less than jazzed. - [Love Is...](https://family-counseling.org/love-is/) - So much crap has been written about love it seems redundant to say anything here, but the confusion about this topic leaves many of us in a lather. So, what if he says he loves you and you don't feel loved, at all? Lots of times as parents, we say we're disciplining our kids because - [Are You A Victim of Trauma?](https://family-counseling.org/are-you-a-victim-of-trauma/) - Sadly, many people have witnessed horror on a major scale. You may have enlisted in a branch of the service looking to make a difference, to serve your country and maybe to find a career. Trauma, however, isn't limited to soldiers who witness unspeakable atrocities or suffer horrifific injuries. Those who watched friends die next - [Keeping Your Mate Happy](https://family-counseling.org/keeping-your-mate-happy/) - It’s pure self-interest. If your mate is happy, you’ve got a better chance of being happy yourself. Relationships are complicated, but this much is just obvious. There are two of you in this relationship and, of course, you want to be happy. That’s a given. You find a job that’s as fulfilling, satisfying and rewarding - [Dating Down](https://family-counseling.org/dating-down/) - Don’t pretend you’ve never heard of it. You might have done it yourself--gone out with a guy who has less money and less of a job than you have. Maybe the girl you’re seeing doesn’t have ambitions in life beyond what club she’s going to this evening and you’ve got the next ten years of - [No Such Thing as "Happily Ever After"](https://family-counseling.org/no-such-thing-as-happily-ever-after/) - This is a hard fantasy to give up. We want to believe if we just find the right person, then our relationships will be easy and we’ll magically be happy. Don’t delude yourself. Relationships are a lot like working out. It’s not supposed to be easy. The point is getting healthy and learning to deal - [Leaving is Hard](https://family-counseling.org/leaving-is-hard/) - Falling in love is fun, even when it’s scary. The end of love, though, sucks. So, what do you do when you think you may need to leave? If this person didn’t have some good qualities, you wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place. Only now, the happy times are few and far between. - [Relationship Blame](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-blame/) - It’s all her fault…No, it’s all his fault. Okay, the problems are mostly her fault. Actually, you're both responsible for what goes on in your relationship. This can be hard to swallow if one of you does something really bad, like cheating or running up big joint financial debt in secret. The wounded party is - [No Second Chances](https://family-counseling.org/no-second-chances/) - There’s trouble in Relationship-land and you’d like to hope it’ll just go away. After all, you guys have fought before and things always get better. You tell yourself, you just have to let it rest. Not talk everything to death. Not keep harping at each other. It’ll blow over, you say. Sadly, you may be - [Over-Sharing](https://family-counseling.org/over-sharing/) - Saying more than you should say—there’s even an acronym for it. T.M.I. or Too Much Information. Sometimes, you find yourself saying stuff better left unspoken. Do you over-share? Certain confidences fall in this category. Talking about sexual adventures—particularly with details or even photos—is inappropriate in most situations. There are some things other people just don’t - [How To Argue](https://family-counseling.org/how-to-argue/) - You’ve probably tried talking and just end up in pointless fights that don’t make anything better. So, you just avoid any topic that you fight about. But this doesn’t solve anything. You need to learn how to talk—and listen—to one another. This might sound juvenile and simplistic, but poor relationship communication is deathly. Arguing sounds - [Throw-Away Relationships](https://family-counseling.org/throw-away-relationships/) - When you start seeing someone new does it ever cross your mind that if things get complicated, you’ll just break-up? Most individuals want to be in a relationship. It seems easier than being alone, but building a solid, rewarding relationship is a really hard thing to do. Maybe one of the hardest on this earth. - [Stop Beating a Dead Horse](https://family-counseling.org/stop-beating-a-dead-horse/) - It’s true that we discard relationships more rapidly than previously, but maybe we’re just confused about relationships…. Jumping in and out of couplehood like living in a revolving door isn’t good. But staying in a going-nowhere relationship is pointless and, ultimately, bad for both of you. The question is how you decide whether to invest - [Sometimes They Won't Like You](https://family-counseling.org/sometimes-they-wont-like-you/) - Rejection feels bad, so much that some individuals live their entire lives avoiding others’ disapproval. Some people are very good at this though most individuals only have modest success—triumph in this area usually comes at the expense of their own needs and desires. Still, if you’ve spent your life as the “Golden Child”, the good - [Relationship Power Differentials](https://family-counseling.org/relationship-power-differentials/) - Challenges abound when one partner in a relationship has more power than the other. This can be earning-power, celebrity-power, ethnicity-power or citizenship-power. Whatever gives one the upper hand. It may sound good to say that healthy relationships require equality, but our worst characteristics come out in the conflicts closest to our hearts. We fight the - [Marriage and Holiday Gifts](https://family-counseling.org/marriage-and-holiday-gifts/) - The holidays are gift time and this can be really tricky for couples. From the newspaper that comes heavy with sale circulars to television commercials that show beautiful people responding with beautiful emotions to very pricey items, the holidays can be a time we try to buy love. This doesn’t mean that you don’t really - [Giving Gifts We Want to Get](https://family-counseling.org/giving-gifts-we-want-to-get/) - Everyone moans about the rush of the season and about having too much to do at this time of year, but buying gifts can be fun. Credit card bills in January can be staggering, and you know this. After all, you’ve lived through a few Januarys by this time. But buying—especially for your kids—can be - [Kids and Christmas -- Does Fair Mean Same?](https://family-counseling.org/kids-and-christmas-does-fair-mean-same/) - If you have more than one kid, you’ve probably worried about being fair as a parent. Having a parent who plays favorites can color a child’s early life. Ask any adult you know who their parents’ favorite kid was. They usually know and it still bugs them. Kids and equality of parental love can be - [Friendships, Gifts, and Christmas](https://family-counseling.org/friendships-gifts-and-christmas/) - Friends add comfort and warmth to life, not to mention fun, but at Christmas time, the gift issue can be stressful. Having someone who you like to hang out with, just makes everything better, but do you buy them a gift? If so, what? How much do you spend? What if you have more disposable - [Husbands and Disappointing Gifts](https://family-counseling.org/husbands-and-disappointing-gifts/) - He should know better. Even if he misses your clues that you’ve been hankering after a diamond “journey” necklace, a special perfume or that hot car, he still has to know that you’re not going to be thrilled with a new rifle/washing machine/elasticized polyester pants. If you’re an avid hunter, the rifle may thrill you. - [Staying Together after Infidelity](https://family-counseling.org/staying-together-after-infidelity/) - This is really tough to do and, ironically, you may find yourself having to defend the choice to stay. Your friends and relatives will tell you to just end the marriage. But you love him…or you have a history and/or kids together. Maybe you secretly think this is all your fault. I'm going to have - [The Favorite Child](https://family-counseling.org/the-favorite-child/) - Just ask the kids in a family—they know which is their parents’ favorite. Most of the time, it’s probably no big deal. At least, not now. You’ve had a while to get used to it and you’re an adult, after all. But this can make the holidays complicated and leave you exhausted after time spent - [Relay Relationships](https://family-counseling.org/relay-relationships/) - Do you only break-up with one lover when you have someone else in the wings? Only when there’s another good possibility cooking? Being alone can be scary. Of course, when you’re in a relationship that really isn’t working, the thought of being alone is great. You daydream about what it would be like to come - [Next on the Marriage Checklist](https://family-counseling.org/next-on-the-marriage-checklist/) - Is your marriage really okay? You may never argue (and this would be a bad thing, believe it or not) or you may argue all the time. Arguing isn’t fun, but the real test of a relationship is whether or not you resolve the conflicts. Whether both of you think the arguments are resolved. It’s - [Forcing Relationships](https://family-counseling.org/forcing-relationships/) - Most individuals hate being alone. No matter how much trouble relationships involve, people tend to fear not having someone. Sadly, some would rather have anyone, than be alone. One is the loneliest number for most people(unless you’ve been in such a horrible relationship that it’s a relief) . Sometimes, you might succumb to the urge ## Pages - [Contact Us](https://family-counseling.org/contact-us/) - [Spiritual Counseling](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/spiritual-counseling/) - The Family Counseling Center recognizes that many of life issues involve a spiritual nature and our therapists are able to help each client work through the many conflicts involving their spiritual concerns. While our therapists have their own beliefs, we do not preach these to our clients. Our mission isn’t to convert our clients to - [Counseling FAQ](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-faq/) - Below is a list of Frequently Asked Questions. If you have a general question which is not addressed here, please Contact Us. [raw] [/raw] - [Dr. Carol Doss, Ph.D.](https://family-counseling.org/dr-carol-doss/) - Licensed Professional Counselor, Clinical Director Dr. Carol Doss counsels individuals and families, especially enjoying working with couples and teens. She also conducts seminars at the Center and is available for workshops elsewhere. A Licensed Professional Counselor with over twenty-five years experience in the non-profit sector, Dr. Carol Doss works with a variety of clients. She - [Dr. Roger Doss, Ph.D.](https://family-counseling.org/dr-roger-doss/) - Licensed Professional Counselor Executive Director Dr. Roger Doss counsels children in play therapy, and teens and adults in private and group therapy. In addition, he conducts seminars at the Center and, upon request, is available for workshops. Roger Doss earned his Ph.D. in Child Counseling from the University of North Texas where he studied with - [Books](https://family-counseling.org/books/) - [raw] [/raw] - [Grief Recovery](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/grief-recovery/) - Suffering from the loss of a loved one can be excruciating. Whether through death or divorce, people struggle when a significant relationship is ended. Grieving can extend over a period of time, even becoming complicated with symptoms of depression. The process of grief is very personal, following no specific time table. Feelings of guilt and - [Play Therapy](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/play-therapy/) - Young children with behavior or family difficulties don't always feel comfortable in what is known as traditional "talk" therapy. To help these kids, therapists take them into an especially equipped Play Room and talk with them there while they interact with the toys. When children are distressed, they act out through their natural method of - [Counseling Services](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/) - Counseling at the Family Counseling Center Association emphasizes the process of valuing ourselves and others. We help adults and children discover their strengths and release their inner potential which leads to the creation of stronger relationships in personal and group situations. Do you want to talk with someone about something that's troubling you, but don't - [Adolescent Transitions](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/adolescent-transitions/) - The transition from being a kid who goofs off with friends and doesn't worry about tomorrow to being an adult who pays the bills and votes, is huge. Parents love keeping their kids kids, but what happens when they graduate from high school? Do they get a job or go off to college? What college - [Staff](https://family-counseling.org/staff/) - Our counselors are certified and state-licensed. All have graduate degrees and intensive clinical training to equip them to function in a caring, supportive manner to bring out the best in their clients Dr. Roger Doss, Ph.D., Licensed Professional Counselor Executive Director Read more about Dr. Roger Doss Dr. Carol Doss, Ph.D., Licensed Professional Counselor Clinical - [Marital/Couple Counseling](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/maritalcouple-counseling/) - Creating and maintaining a happy, healthy marriage can be a difficult job. With the demands of work and family, finances and children, people can lose track of the attraction that first drew them together. They can still love each other, but not know how to live together happily. There is no such thing as one - [Individual Counseling](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/individual-counseling/) - Individuals seek counseling for a variety of different problems: depression, anxiety or low self-esteem. Sometimes you may have questions about a relationship you're not sure what to do with. Or a relationship might have ended, leaving you feeling lost and angry. You may have behaviors you know are bad for you, but you don't know - [Group Counseling](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/group-counseling/) - In small group counseling, individuals or couples talk with other group members about the problems confronting them. Led by trained therapists, the group members discuss and exhibit social behaviors that may be inhibiting their relationships. In the group setting, the interaction between members serves as a kind of lab for behaviors used in the outside - [Family Counseling](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/family-counseling/) - Families can be tough places to live, particularly if they don't know how to get along. Parents are busier than ever with demanding jobs and tight budgets. Kids face an ever-expanding world of temptations and bad influences. If everyone loves each other, why is it so hard to be happy together? Family counseling can be - [Career Counseling](https://family-counseling.org/counseling-services/career-counseling/) - People spend a significant chunk of their lives working, but many find themselves unhappy and frustrated in their careers. Career counseling can help pinpoint the best jobs for specific individual strengths. Whether an individual is just beginning a work career or has been in the workforce for decades, career planning can help with future choices. ## Categories - [Uncategorized](https://family-counseling.org/category/uncategorized/) - [Relationships](https://family-counseling.org/category/blog/relationships/) - [Parenting](https://family-counseling.org/category/blog/parenting/) - [Personal Issues](https://family-counseling.org/category/blog/personal-issues/) - [Random Topics](https://family-counseling.org/category/blog/random-topics/) - [Unsolicited Advice Column](https://family-counseling.org/category/blog/)