“How can I expect one to treat me with respect and dignity when its not possible for this person to feel empathy or understand what lack of respect does to the other person. Or should I expect it?”
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Dear Unrespected,
It sounds like you’re dating or married to a psychopath. If this isn’t the case, my only comment is that we get the empathy and respect we tolerate.
That being said, you need to look also at your own behavior. Are you really listening? Are you understanding the other person’s perspective or do you think this person should feel as you do? If you’re giving respect, you have a better chance at getting it.
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Sex Connnects / Sex Divides
When a relationship is clear and connected, after good sex, you feel even better with your partner. The connection in the relationship is magnified when you have great sex.
Science has shown that orgasms leave people feeling more bonded, but this sexual connection isn’t available when the rest of the relationship is crap. If you don’t feel listened to or understood, you don’t feel loved. No matter how good the sex may be, those moments grow farther and farther apart, if you’re fighting and disagreeing all the time.
When you have major conflicts in a relationship, sex often becomes the focal point. You may have tried talking about issues with no success and then you decided there was no point in talking. If conflict goes underground, it generally surfaces in sexual division. Either you don’t have orgasms or you aren’t attracted to even engage sexually with your partner.
If you don’t like the person you’re sleeping next to, you don’t usually want to get naked with them. When one partner avoids sex, both partners need to pay attention to the issues in the relationship.
It’s easy to label the disinterested party as “frigid” or to start questioning his/her faithfullness, but the real focus needs to be on what’s happening between the two of you.