We all know that parenting is a very difficult job, but its not very commonly addressed that moms have a bigger role than dads. In previous eras, some moms stayed home and focused on keeping house and parenting the children in the families. Dads made the money and meted out discipline, as in “Just wait until your father gets home.”
When bottles were given and diapers needed to be changed, moms did it. Even in this day of diaper changing stations in men’s rest rooms, it’s not uncommon to see the moms toting the baby carriers, sitting the young child’s high chair next to mom during meals out at restaurants and talk of fathers’ “baby sitting” their own children.
Research repeatedly tells us that fathers are very important to their children. Having an active, involved dad influences whether kids go to college and has a significant impact on emotional and social wellbeing. Dads matter, but just being in the home won’t produce the good things in kids. Children need to have active parents. Fathers often involve themselves in their kids’ sports activities and this can be great, if dads remember that the point of kids’ sports is the kids experience. It is unfortunate that parents—moms and dads—get so wound up in the winning and losing that their childrens sports end up with the parents yelling at and belittling their children.
I came from a very different parenting background. My father was a hard worker who had little time for a girl. He supported our family financially and he was a great provider, but he was a sideline dad, leaving the actual child care to my mother. I loved Roger playing with our girls. I sat and applauded and took lots and lots of pictures.
Kids need active dads. Don’t just think of yourself as a paycheck. They need you to be in their lives, laughing and playing. Disciplining them when this is called for. They need you and you’ll get a thousand tremendous moments from sharing yourself with them.
