Don’t feel alone–lots of folks are dealing with this problem. Whether this involves mainly an addiction to pornography or you’ve progressed to the point of meeting strangers for quick hook-ups, sex addiction can take a huge toll. It interferes with real personal relationships and can take over your life.
Recent research indicates some new and troubling consequences to some of this behavior. And this is ironic in a really bad way. Those individuals who use pornography can get caught up in the “no risk” aspects of viewing stimulating material and…as a result experience a diminished sexual capacity. This is actually a result of the no risk/no effort part of pornography. You get a sexual stimulation that has nothing to do with the risks involved in an actual relationship.
It turns out that reward and fulfillment are actually linked to risk and effort.
Let’s be honest: relationships are challenging and loving another person puts us in a vulnerable place. We are very emotionally affected by what happens to–and what choices are made by–the one we love. Connection brings vulnerability.
Of course, it brings a lot of other good things, too.
With the sense of vulnerability and little relationship success can come a desire to avoid actual interaction with another human being. Your own version of the blow-up doll. People can just decide to go with the porn in an attempt to avoid troublesome interactions with others.
This avoidance can have some bizarre and unexpected consequences, however. Individuals choosing porn over persons can actually experience a diminished sexual capacity. Further research will have to be done on this phenomena, but think of the risks if it’s true….
Can sex addiction lead to a loss of sexual function?
Of course, some folks question using the term “addiction” with sexual behavior. Alcohol has a physical addictive pattern. People can even be genetically predisposed to this kind of addiction. Unhealthy sexual behavior, though, can range from individuals engaging in irresponsible acts to people who’s lives are taken over by an abnormal focus on sex. There’s a range. Like many unhealthy behaviors, most people don’t engage in this to the level of an addiction. Some do.
It’s all about responsibility and self-control. With the term “addiction” is an assumption of the individual having no control over engaging in this particular act. Of course there are addiction specialists who disagree. Even AA presents the individual as able to choose not to engage in the addictive behavior.
Whether or not Tiger Woods was addicted to his extra-marital playmates, his marriage is likely over. Few of us can over look betrayal and particularly betrayal on this level. Addiction. Not addiction. Actions yield results and those consequences can sometimes be very painful.
Some choices have bigger consequences whether or not you call it addiction.
Great post, and I am really happy to see the subject coming up more often now, and being less of a taboo than it used to be. In my personal experience this addiction is both very real, and hard to overcome.