Therapists who work with the kids in the foster system try to help these children realize they’ve done nothing to deserve being there–they aren’t foster children because they’re bad or because they’ve done bad things. They’ve just had incredibly bad luck.
In an age when couples spend tens of thousands of dollars to conceive or to adopt newborn babies, the older child is often not considered. The foster system is bulging with children whose birth parents have in some way failed to provide for them or failed to protect them from harm.
Many of these children have suffered abuse, as well as, neglect. They need to be loved.
They have issues. We all have issues, but it’s a reality that kids in the foster system can be difficult to deal with. It isn’t fair to them to romanticize this or to deny it. Many struggle with a fear of–and a determination not to–attach to others. Bad things have happened to them before, too often out of an “attached” or family relationship.
Still, these kids are worth recycling. In fact, they are the ultimate in recycled goods. Some kids are damaged, seemingly beyond repair. Some seem surprisingly okay. All are in need and aren’t the rest of us? Adults who want to become parents always take a risk–they never know what they’ll get. Just as parents of so-called natural children. The outcome of parenting is always a mixed bag. Nothing can be more rewarding and nothing more heart-breaking.
If you’re looking to do some parenting, consider the recycled foster child. But don’t do this lightly or without serious consideration. These kids don’t need more heartache and disappointment.