Putting others down doesn’t really make you feel better, but the temptation can be strong. Particularly when you see someone who seems to have it all—money, relationship and perfect teeth. If they drive a great car, that’s even worse.
It’s easy to feel less-than with others. You may feel like your life is a mess. You might be able to list pages of what you need to change about yourself. There are probably moments when you find yourself sniping about someone else’s crappy manicure or the fact that he needs to get to the gym more frequently.
It’s important to recognize that you being less bad than them doesn’t make you good.
This certainly doesn’t make you feel better about yourself for more than a few minutes. The reality is that everyone has struggles in life. Even if you can’t see them—if their hair is always perfect and they wear a size 2—they have their challenges, too. These might not be visible, but you can be sure that the battles you’re fighting are universal.
Relationships are difficult. Children—let’s admit it—sometimes disappointing and jobs less than satisfying.
So, how do you repair your tottering self-esteem? First, take a look at the challenges you face and try hard to be objective. This can be very difficult, but the chances are that you are no more flawed than the rest of the mortals living on this planet. You need to be as objective about this as possible.
Seeing yourself as others do—don’t pick really dysfunctional folks—can help you gain a more objective assessment of yourself.
Once you’re more objective in your view of yourself, you can better set out to repair your self-esteem. You need to exam your own ideas about what makes a person a decent individual. (Struggling sometimes is just a part of living.) Then, you need to set about making healthier choices. No, this isn’t easy, but small ones count. Our lives are built of a thousand small moments. The big ones are more noticeable and you might not like how you’ve handled these, but the look at the small moments. Chances are that you have a better track record in these than you realize.
Everyone has areas in which they can improve. That’s just a reality, but make sure you don’t judge yourself harshly for these. Learn from your mistakes and put effort into not repeating these. That’s the measure of a learning, growing human being.
None of us are perfect. It’s not required.