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Life can be challenging and, even with our best efforts, we can have difficulty sorting through our own challenges. Let us help. Sometimes, having an impartial listener can help. Whether you're anxious, depressed or trying to sort through relationship difficulties, our therapists are trained to give you our full attention and help you find the solutions that work for you.

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You Can’t Always See the Results

Posted on August 4, 2008 by Carol in Personal Issues

Every action has a result…it just may not be immediate. Some people struggle with seeing the consequences when it comes to choices they make. One definition of insanity is to repeat the same actions, thinking you’ll get a different result, but what if the result isn’t clear right away. The tendency for many is to keep making the same choices. Individuals tend to keep trying things that are comfortable for them, but it’s important to recognize the power of these actions.

Every action has a reaction; every choice has a consequence. You just might not see it right away.

We learn through consequences following choices. Some choices result in good things—showing up on time and doing a good job generally results in the boss valuing the employee. (This may not always be true, but it is more often than not.) Smile at ten strangers in a day and chances are you’ll get more people smiling back than not.

Your behavior has consequences.

Actions lead to reaction. Stealing from the company, generally results in being fired and, maybe, prosecution. Incarceration is a likelihood for those who break the law. Running out into traffic usually ends in getting hit by a car. Cheating on your income tax gives you a higher likelihood of owing penalties to the IRS.

Choice and consequences.

We get confused, though, when the consequences of an action are delayed. Eating poorly, getting no exercise and smoking will result in diminished health and a greater likelihood of an earlier, uglier death. But you don’t die from one puff of a cigarette or one very fatty meal and, besides, people who eat disgustingly healthy and run marathons can die of a heart attack, too. But statistics tell us it’s much less likely.

Some choices are incremental, small steps that, if continued, will lead you in a specific direction. Just not quickly. We can’t always see what we’re choosing. Immediate consequences are so much more clear. Stick your hand in the fire, get burned. Now that’s immediate.

Delayed consequences can be just as harmful as ones that follow right after an action. But you might not see the results. You might get tempted into thinking that the choice doesn’t lead to a specific outcome. There are spouses who cheat and never get caught. There are cheaters who’s marital partners decide to look the other way, for a variety of reasons…. But cheating is a leading cause of disrupted relationships. Cheating ends marriages. Maybe you don’t get caught the first time you stray, though. You might get away with it, and then you might think your actions in this area have no consequence. But even if a wronged spouse looks the other way, the relationship suffers. Emotional dry rot.

Think hard about the choices you make. This is your power. This is how you exert some control over your life. You’ll probably have things you don’t like happen in your life, things that are not a result of any choice you make. You don’t have absolute control, but that doesn’t mean it makes sense not to use the power you do have.

Choices. Certain actions lead to specific reactions. Choose what you want.

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