“Whenever he slips in his own crap,” Neal said of his younger brother, “he always seems to fall in clover.”
Ever wonder why others seem to get promotions even when their work is no better than yours? They get raises and dates with really hot women, while your life is unexciting and half the time you can’t get lucky to save your soul? Maybe you’re okay in the date department and your job is going pretty well, but you feel you can’t manage to get the respect or recognition you deserve.
Neal’s brother, whom he loves, had just gotten fired from a good job. His brother didn’t particularly deserve the axe, but even when circumstances led to him having to leave his chosen field and seek another job, Neal’s brother ended up making twice the money.
Some people call it luck, but you don’t know how to get some of your own. It may seem like you just can’t catch a break. There are others who screw-up and still seem to do really well.
Maybe you need to learn how to get what you want. You need empowerment! While life involves disappointment and frustration at moments for us all, you need to find the mindset that will enable you to work toward and achieve your goals. First off, you need to ponder the reality that you can make some things different in your world. Really different. It may not seem like it, but you have power over most aspects of your life. You make choices that bring certain results. While it can feel like crap when these results aren’t what you want, the upside of taking responsibility for the stuff you don’t like is that you can change it! The word “responsibility” sometimes has a negative quality to it. Your father held your report card in his hand while demanding when you were going to take some responsibility for your life? And you don’t usually want to raise your hand when your boss demands, “Who’s responsible for this fiasco?” I mean, who would?
There’s a secret most don’t know, however, responsibility may suck, but it goes hand-in-hand with power. We love power! Sometimes the “P” word has a bad connotation, but aren’t we fascinated with the thought of having real power? One of our big lottery dreams involves telling the boss to “take this job and shove it!”
Personal power is unavoidably linked to responsibility. You can make a difference–not get exactly what you want in every situation, but get more of what you want in most situations. If you want advancement in your career, go back to school. Yes, school can suck and you have to make sure the degree you’re getting actually earns you more, but you know that degrees, rightly or wrongly, get more play in the job market. If your relationship is struggling–or just isn’t going where you want–embrace the notion of change. You can change you and that changes the relationship. It may not be exactly the way you’d most prefer, but it could the better in the long run.
Taking the power in a situation involves looking at your actions, choosing the behavior that gives you the options you want. If you work hard to get good grades in class, you’ll generally endear yourself to your teachers. Teachers love students who care about their school work. Really.
Know your own power. When you pass the buck, you’re passing more than the blame. You’re passing up the chance to make things the way you want them to be.