Having kids is one of the scariest things you can do in this life. The urge to become a parent is strong in most, and for many people, not a lot of thought goes into whether or not to become a parent. It’s more a question of when, than if. You may find yourself planning, however, being a different kind of parent from those you see around you or from your own parents.
Be careful, though, that you aren’t deceiving yourself.
Parenting challenges every difficult or unpleasant part of you. (You know what these are!) After all, the little munchkins live with you. They see you at your worst and, because they are smaller and have less power than you, they tend to hit below the belt. They always seem to know right where you don’t want to go.
Sometimes this just involves being very, very messy when they know it really annoys you, the neatnik. Sometimes, your kid will realize that you really care how the people in the grocery store see you and your beloved child can become your personal terrorist.
Even bigger life-decisions can play out very differently than you planned.
If you value successful social interaction, your little person may be introverted. You like playing sports? Your kid would rather die. You’re a Republican? He’s a liberal Democrat. Getting a college degree important to you? Your daughter may declare that she’s not going to college, at all. Trust me, if you like peas, kids will define themselves (I’m me, not you) by being different. Sometimes very different.
So parenting, while very fulfilling, is one of the most challenging endeavors you will ever undertake. And unlike marriage or any committed relationship(which is the other really tough thing you face), parenting doesn’t come with a divorce clause. If you hate being a parent or dislike your kids (major fear for many), you can’t just walk away without some pretty significant consequences.
You may be propelled toward having children by your own urges (or society’s dictates), and yet you have anxiety about this life experience. Piles of books are published on how to parent. Lots of people are doing it really badly and you don’t want to be one of them. So, you convince yourself that your child will “never be like that.” Your child won’t be rude or unappreciative or obnoxious. Your child will do well in school and will never yell that he hates you.
This is a good time to realize that nothing alters one’s outlook like experience. Don’t be too quick to judge others. You might very well be one of those parents who refuses to let your child terrorize you into buying them candy when you’re checking out at the discount store. You might find yourself, however, dealing with things differently than you thought you would.
If you’re engaged in the adventure of raising a child, take every lesson that comes to you and learn for all you’re worth. Along with the toothless grins and heart-warming hugs, parenting brings with it a life-long string of personal lessons. Embrace the journey, if you’re going there.