Maybe it’s time to quit whining about not finding the “right one” and start asking yourself if you’re the right one. The dating-mating hunt is huge these days. Just look at the booming internet dating sites. Lots of people struggle with rotten dates and disappointing relationships and you may be doing the same. It might, however, be time to look at yourself.
The popular TLC show Flip That House has individuals buying a promising property and fixing any problems so they can turn around and sell for a profit. This same approach might yield a productive change in your dating perspective.
Maybe you need to become someone’s “The One.” It might be a good idea to address your own limitations.
It’s important to note that this way of looking at dating doesn’t mean anything horrible about you. No implied criticism here. There is, however, room for improvement–always. Life is one long fixer-up. Unless you’re entrenched in never changing, you’re going to find things you need to do differently.
So, when it comes to looking for a mate, why not do a personal walk-through and look for areas you can improve? The first thing that many people focus on(and get hung up on) is the physical. Looking good, though, isn’t as important in a life mate as having good health habits. You don’t need to go on a make-over show and get all gussied up. That may feel good, but dealing with personal habits that hold you back is a bigger investment.
What needs changing about you? A good place to start looking is to conduct as objective a study as you can on what you did to torpedo your last relationship. Again, not blaming you. You couldn’t have been completely at fault in your last relationship because there were two of you involved, and you didn’t have all the power. You did, however, contribute something to it going south.
Pick one–You insisted on everything being your way. You didn’t really insist on your way, ever. You were too rigid. You had no boundaries at all and let yourself get run over. You are an emotional spender. You put your emotional well-being in always having money in the bank(more is always better). You struggle to express emotion. You are all-emotion and have a hard time being objective. Et Cetera, et cetera.
Take a good, hard look at yourself. What have your last three lovers accused you of? Can you find a theme in what they said? Remember, you aren’t totally at fault in why your past relationships have ended…but you need to see what you contributed to each situation. You need to know yourself. Your areas of struggle. Your biggest challenges. Once you can see these, you’ve got a good chance of seeing what you need to change to give your next relationship a better shot.
Just knowing the areas where you struggle is huge. When you’ve got a lock on these, then you can do something about them. Changing isn’t easy. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Whether you want to take care of your body better(and locate your abs again) or whether you want to learn to trust yourself, it’s going to be hard sometimes. Self-improvement pays off, though. You’ll be happier with yourself and, automatically, happier to be around. If you start dealing with your own non-productive behaviors, you’ll be more content and your relationships will have a better chance of success.
Be “The One” that special someone is looking for.