So much crap has been written about love it seems redundant to say anything here, but the confusion about this topic leaves many of us in a lather. So, what if he says he loves you and you don’t feel loved, at all? Lots of times as parents, we say we’re disciplining our kids because we love them. The kids just roll their eyes and think we’re latching on to a reason to make their lives difficult. Relationships aren’t easy.
What is love? Not being able to live without a certain person? Having the urge to break into silly songs when you think about that individual? Or having the urge to drop your pants and get dirty? Maybe, you’d throw yourself in front of an on-coming bus for your loved one.
This is a subject that confuses many and isn’t easily sorted out. Even crazy people will sometimes say they love their kids–right before they kill them and take their own lives.
So what is love? A feeling that invades you?
From just the perspective of love for another person, the word indicates more than just a “profoundly tender, passionate affection.” If we’re talking about this from more than an emotional context, love has to be viewed from the perspective of action. Does the individual proclaiming the emotion of love, actually behave like they love? Are their actions contrary to the loved one needs?
Love is placing the loved one’s best interest at a high premium; that is, doing what is best for the one you love. This is way harder than it sounds at first. Particularly, if what’s best for the loved one, isn’t what you want her to do. Love can be complicated. We’re not talking about self-sacrifice. Generally, what’s good for the one you love, is good for you, too. Not that it won’t sometimes be difficult, because love is, if nothing else, demanding. To truly love another person, you need to look at your own issues, your own struggles.
Love is, at it’s very best, disinterested. Not that you’re not interested in your loved one or what effects him, but when you really love another person, your interests are not paramount. You want what is best for your loved one.
You don’t buy things for your kid just so he’s not mad at you. Parents who allow their behavior to be motivated by their kids always liking them are prone to do really foolish things for their kids, things that aren’t necessarily good for the kids. Children–actually, all of us–sometimes want things that aren’t best for them. When you love someone, you allow them to get mad at you.
We can’t really be selfless–we can try, but it’s hard to take yourself completely out of the equation. Still, when you really love another person, it’s that person’s needs that count. Disinterested. Not about you.
That’s why love is sometimes hard.