As an emotionally-oriented person myself, I’d be the last to say emotions aren’t an important part of life. They give color to our world, even if the down moments do suck. There are many highly-logical people who are prone to depression. Everything is gray. Feelings change and can seem unstable, but they are important to us. […]
I think we’re confused about this. I hear about individuals who dread family holidays and who’ve moved across the country to be far away from those to whom they are related. Yet, often when talking to clients who tell me of frustrating or horrific behavior on the part of family members, when I ask why they continue having […]
Parenting is a challenging, at times thankless job, but you’re not there to make life easier for your kids. Your job as a parent is to love them and prepare them to fly on their own. Love is a tricky concept, meaning different things to different people, but the big definition is that loving means […]
For many people, competition is fun. We join table tennis and card game groups and love to root for the home team. In relationships, however, winning takes on a new meaning. I’ve often heard individuals say with confidence–and no irony–that they always win in relationship conflicts. This is a little disturbing because if one individual is […]
Recently, the number of individuals seeking help for anxiety has risen. Some professionals advocate a combination of drug therapy–some say necessary for a life time–and psychotherapy. I have a problem with anything being “for a life time.” Anxiety medications also have a limited effect for many. There are some major psychiatric disorders for which we’ve […]
People do evil things because they don’t seem evil to them. This is about as far as we can go to understanding the mindset because it’s largely irrational. The people on the German plane didn’t deserve to die. As far as we know, none did horrible things to others and yet they were killed. Evil. […]
This reality is a source of power in our relationships. It’s what makes us both crave and hate relationships. If you’ve ever done any kind of partner dancing–ballroom, western or just shuffling together to music–you already know how relationships work. When your partner or you moves, the other person is affected. Unavoidably. Sometimes this is a great affect; sometimes not. Relationships […]
Going to therapy and talking to a total stranger about very personal things in your life? You deserve a medal for that. Even more so if you go in seeking assistance for a couple issue, because that’s even more difficult. I’ve had clients tell me that they worry their therapist will side completely with their […]
Tell me, did you know at twelve or fourteen what you wanted to do for your life career? Kids are now asked this routinely in middle schools because the administration wants to direct them into the “right track.” Those who say they want to be mechanics or heating and air conditioning technicians are put in […]
The really great news is that no one is more important to your kids than you. I know it doesn’t always seem this way, particularly if you have teens. Your kids care a lot more what you think that they let you know. Just ask the adult children around you who are still trying to impress […]