Of all the behaviors parents tell me they’re annoyed by, I’m most confused by the “backtalk” complaint. I think this generally refers to kids smarting off and giving parents a hard time, often over simple requests. I get that. This behavior is very annoying to deal with, but I think we need to find a better way to […]
I am the last parent to tell you to let your kids fly on their on…. Really. I have daughters in medical residency and in internship to complete a Ph.D. in psychology. Their father and I have moved them a total of 20 times since high school–I recently counted. I know what is it to […]
A startling number of us struggle with a deep conviction that we aren’t good people. Clients in my office–not all there for self esteem issues–insist that they’ve done (or are doing) very bad things. Things that make them bad people. Let me be clear–we aren’t talking about clients who kill other people or animals. Or […]
Whether with close friends, relatives or mates, the challenge in relationships is finding the line. Being over-involved and intrusive is never our intent, but we want to be loving and supportive. The problem is that the line separating these two can be difficult to see. I am constantly amazed by how completely righteous individuals feel […]
Refreshing, isn’t it? Not being blamed for every problem your child has? Let me point out that your intentions are good most of the time (who doesn’t occasionally want to strike out before walking away?) Being a parent is a huge job. Really, really huge and since none of us here on this earth are perfect, […]
This really isn’t a news flash to those of us who’ve lived awhile in this world, but many kids don’t quite get how this works. By now, most have heard that whatever is put on the internet will live there forever. All the naked, semi-naked or drunken shots of you have the potential to rise […]
We all know individuals who make glib excuses for even big transgressions, but most of us harbor big shame over some thing. This may be connected to an offense we suffered as a child (no kid is responsible for the behavior of others–I don’t care what you did) or we feel shamed by things we’ve […]
One of the hardest things about parenthood is when your children cease to be children and you can’t do a thing with them. Sometimes, it’s very difficult to know what to do with them when they are children, but when they become adults, things get even more complicated. When they grow to be adults, we […]
How many times have you fought about stuff with your mate end up solving nothing? Too often is usually the answer. Conflicts don’t get actually settled, you just move on. You get tired of arguing, you have to deal with life—kids, jobs, bills. So, you gradually fall back into being alongside one another. You kiss […]
Startling thought, I know. Some people struggle their whole lives with this emotional challenge and I am in no way criticizing them. I do want to offer an alternative to the belief that this is a “brain chemistry” problem you must just accept and that requires life-long medication. When you suffer from anxiety, you just […]