The fear of this is one of the most frequently cited reasons for staying in unhappy relationships. It is very challenging to be with another person–to deal with conflicts and disagreements–but many of us would rather do that than live our lives without a committed partner. Some individuals say they stay in miserable relationships because they’ve “known each other so long”, which is pretty sad if you’ve been fighting and unhappy all the while. Then you’re staying–unhappily–because you’ve been unhappy so long with this person? It doesn’t make a lot of sense–put like that–but most couples aren’t unhappy with one another all the time.
Being alone usually conjures up having no one to sleep with, no one to greet when you come home and no one to take with you to family or friendship get-togethers. One of the biggest fears human beings have is that of alone. Not all humans, of course. Many of us love alone time and crave it, but the largest majority fears being alone the same way they fear the darkness and death.
Don’t think I don’t know the joy and value of coming home to someone who’s eager to see me. That’s a wonderful thing and I’m blessed, but coming home to harsh words, ugly suspicions or–worse–physical confrontations can’t be better than facing an empty house.
When it comes right down to it, being alone means having no one to play with…and video games can only do so much for you. Whether this is a relationship issue or simply a realization that you need a bigger life, reaching out to others is important.
The need to connect to others is pervasive. We all need it. This seems built in our DNA and it can be difficult. Most folks who are single, but don’t want to remain that way are trying one or several of the many dating sites and that can be good. It can also be frustrating. Let’s admit it–other people can be so annoying sometimes. This is a case of “can’t live with you; don’t want to live completely alone”. But connecting isn’t just difficult for singles. It’s not just a dating phenomena.
Couples can also struggle to find friends and associates in fun. Many have issues with our historical religious communities and lots of individuals don’t want to spend their lives hanging out in bars.
Finding friends to spend time with, however, is less of a challenge when you focus on becoming a better friend yourself. The introverts among you don’t want to hear this, but unless you want to live as a hermit, you have to get out and mingle with people. You can start by joining–everything. Lots of people are looking to make connections, just like you are. If you remember this, it makes being friendly easier. Learn new skills, new hobbies and new pastimes. If you take classes at a community college or find people with similar interests on a site like meetup.com, you get to broaden your world and you also have the chance to make someone else’s life easier. Volunteer if you have time.
Being available to be with other people means putting yourself out these. That can be hard, even for extroverts, but doing it can make your own life more full, too.