This is a huge issue for many. It’s nice to have alone time. Some individuals who have busy, demanding lives with lots of people tugging at them, actually crave time alone. Most of us, however, don’t want to live our lives without a significant other.
It is not at all uncommon for clients–in bad, unhappy relationships they say they no longer want–to stay in dysfunctional situations just because the thought of being alone is so disturbing. They may not like the person most of the time, but they fear not finding anyone else better. Relationships are complicated and challenging. The good times need to be at least as frequent as the bad times, but this is often not the case.
Even if you’re one of the lucky ones who have a supportive, loving family (which lots of people don’t have), you will probably still crave being special to just one person.
Being alone, however distressing it may be, can still help you learn about yourself and help you make more informed choices in your life. I know this sucks…it’s not supposed to be fun. But you still need to take some time to think about what you really want out of life. You need to get clear on the kind of relationship best for you and you need to be really aware of the kinds of relationships that won’t work for you.
People express love differently and what feels like love to one won’t necessarily feel like love to another. If you don’t know what you really want from a relationship, you won’t know how to tell the person you eventually fall for. Trust me, there will be lots of educating in a functional relationship.
Being alone long enough to look at yourself will equip you for what lies ahead.