The really great news is that no one is more important to your kids than you. I know it doesn’t always seem this way, particularly if you have teens. Your kids care a lot more what you think that they let you know. Just ask the adult children around you who are still trying to impress their own parents.
The bad news is this is that I, as a therapist, can’t change your kids. Don’t bring them in, thinking that they’ll be terribly impressed with my well-stocked play room or the big degrees on my wall. I’m a fun, engaging person. I listen to them and/or play with them in play therapy and they tend to like me, but you’re still way more important to them than I am. It is a constant frustration that parents bring their misbehaving children and teens to me, thinking that I’ll wave a magic wand or shake my finger at them in a way that will make all the difference.
What I can do is listen to your children and help you understand what’s going on with them. From that point on, you are the biggest influence. You can make the biggest change. I’m pretty good at helping you see how you’re reinforcing the behavior in your kids that you don’t like and may be causing them problems in other areas of their lives. Together, we get to brainstorm ways you can make a difference. Don’t kid yourself–raising children is very difficult. Along with creating successful intimate relationships, parenting is the hardest thing you’ll ever do.
Rather than see me or any therapist as a Fix-It Magician, view us as helpful resources. We can guide you and assist you in responding appropriately and effectively to your kids.
Together, my husband and I raised two children. We know the joys and the heartaches. Never think we’re judging you. We truly do understand how you can love them with all your heart and, at the same time, want to leave them on a corner and drive away. Parents both need and deserve support. That’s us. We get it.