Although some individuals seem to enjoy a competitive interaction with their mates, you need your partner to win sometimes.
Some people work hard to win as many relationship arguments as they can, but this can backfire on you in a big way. If your partner always loses with you, she won’t want to be with you. Even though you enjoy getting your own way and you don’t have to mess with compromise this way, your mate is likely to eventually find a more hospitable relationship.
You want your partner to thrive.
Although it may mean you losing sometimes and you’ll certainly have to go out of your way, you really want the person who is closest to you to be fulfilled and happy. While you cannot “make” your mate happy–if you have the power to always arrange life for someone else, you’re the first–your partner’s needs and wants have to be high on your list of priorities.
We stay connected where we feel valued and we feel valued when the other person wants us to have what we need.
I drive a small, fast car because that’s what I like–speed and agility. While my husband enjoys driving my car, it’s not what he himself wants to drive all the time. You are your mate have different personalities and different preferences. This is good for everyone. Even though, you don’t get her wanting something so different from what you want, this doesn’t make her wishes any less valuable.
Don’t take the responsibility for making her happy, but listen to her. Listening is the most tremendous relationship tool that everyone disregards. Listening is huge. Even if you don’t agree with what she says, you need to resist the urge to disagree and explain. Hear your mate.
You want her to be happy.
You want your partner to care about your wishes, to function in such a way that you get what you want sometimes. So work hard on doing the same.