You may have bad habits and irritating tendencies, but you’re probably pretty good at most stuff. Unfortunately, most of us don’t notice the things we’re good at. Even if we have friends and family cheering on the sidelines, our tendency is to shrug this off because they love us.
Even individuals who would be considered successful by most are still inclined to dismiss our achievements, thinking Yes, but I didn’t do this well. Those talants and gifts you possess come easily to you, so you don’t think much of them. Whether you’re a gifted artist or someone who knows how to throw a really great party, you need to notice–to really see–your abilities, as well as, your disabilities.
Achievement comes in many forms. Chances are good that you’re very skilled at some aspect of life. You may not view this as important because it’s easy for you. No big deal. But to others who struggle in this area, it is a big deal.
Maintaining a realistic, honest view of ourselves is important for personal growth. Lots of people struggle with this. Just today, I was interviewd by a local channel newsperson–Channel 33 in DFW–for a story about mostly young girls posting videos on YouTube asking whether or not others thought they were ugly. As you can imagine, they got a lot of responses from haters. This may seem like an extreme example of trying to find an objective perspective (and I’m not advocating this), but it points to the questions we have about ourselves.
Random responses from individuals hiding behing the anonymity of on-line sites doesn’t reflect reality, but it’s important to reach for this. When honing self-image, though, you need to look at both your weaknesses and your strengths (neither of which has to do with your appearance). It is a sad fact that most of us hear the bad more loudly than the good. We remember the harsh assessments–our own and those of others–more than the good. I’ll bet you can tell me about the times you failed, more fully than you can talk about how you succeeded.
But you need to note your successes. You need to see what worked, so you can repeat this kind of behavior. Seeing success isn’t self-indugent. It’s vital. Whether I’m working with individuals struggling with depression or those challenged by anxiety disorders, noticing success can be a struggle. Even those with relationship issues can fail to note when they work through conflicts and resolve issues.
Growth is a process. None of us get to our goals without falling down sometimes. Just doesn’t happen. Seeing what does work is important–it’s like hanging a picture in the right spot. You need the “A little to the left” feedback, just like you need to hear “Right there. That’s it.”
Even if you don’t achieve your goals completely, some part of what you’re doing is important. Worthy of note. So, pay attention to your successes. They offer you great information, even if you don’t succeed as often as you like.