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Life can be challenging and, even with our best efforts, we can have difficulty sorting through our own challenges. Let us help. Sometimes, having an impartial listener can help. Whether you're anxious, depressed or trying to sort through relationship difficulties, our therapists are trained to give you our full attention and help you find the solutions that work for you.

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Stupid Emotional Choices

Posted on June 5, 2015 by Carol in Personal Issues, Unsolicited Advice Column

As an emotionally-oriented person myself, I’d be the last to say emotions aren’t an important part of life. They give color to our world, even if the down moments do suck. There are many highly-logical people who are prone to depression. Everything is gray. Feelings change and can seem unstable, but they are important to us.

Logic is, however, a very important aspect of life, as well. We all need to be able to connect to objective reality. You know, just the facts? Sometimes, those of us who swim in deep emotional waters have difficulty with this. Some don’t even know it.

Choices need both. We’ve all heard the quote “the heart wants what the heart wants”? Fine, but don’t make even the more emotional choices–life partners, parenting, etc–be all about feelings. I always tell single clients, looking for dating advice, to pay serious attention to the people they’re dating who they really enjoy. Having fun with a partner can get you through the times when you’ll want to throttle him or her. (Trust me, this will happen even in the healthiest of relationships) You need to know how you feel with someone, but you also need to connect to some objective data.

When  you’re facing a big life choice–career, relationship or otherwise–factor in both the logical reality you’re dealing with and the emotion your options evoke in you. You’ll only find sorrow if you marry who you think you’re “supposed to” marry, unless your partner adds joy to your life. If you pick a career that is safe and/or  guaranteed to make you good money, make sure you get real enjoyment out of the work.

It’s important to pay your bills-big fan of that myself–but it’s also very important not to dread going to work. Consider both logic and emotion.

Don’t make choices on either just what you feel–almost guaranteed to change–or just what logic tells you is best. Find the balance.

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