When my husband was recently headed out on a bicycle ride with a friend, the guy remembered they’d gotten thirsty on their last ride. Without going to ask his wife, he unstrapped two bottle holders from her bicycle and put them on his and my husband’s bikes. When my husband made a comment that this guy’s wife might not like her water bottle holders being taken, the guy shrugged and said he’d get another one for her.
I have no idea how often she uses her bicycle, but bear in mind that this is a very athletic woman. Several weeks later when my husband mentioned this, his friend still hadn’t replaced the water bottle holders on her bike.
I’ve been married for too long to say. It’s almost embarrassing to say we’ve been married for more than 35 years—and this is the kicker—I still like him. Yes, I love him a lot and he loves me, but sometimes liking is harder.
This is the secret to happy relationships —don’t ever forget it. Having good sex is good and agreeing on money issues is vital, but when you come right down to it, great relationships are built on a mutual desire for the other person to prosper, to enjoy his life.
After talking about the friend’s bicycle behavior, I told my husband that my life is better when his life is good. I don’t want to get my happiness at the expense of his.
This may sound simplistic and it’s unashamedly selfish, but relationships come right down to wanting what is best for the other person because when his or her life is better, so is yours. I want my mate to have what he wants and needs. This is as important to me—not more important, but as important—as me getting what I want and need.
The secret to a healthy relationship is smart selfishness. He’s happy=I’m happy. Pretty simple, huh?