When counseling with individuals about relationship problems, I frequently hear, “We knew each other since we were kids. I’ve known him(or her) forever.” This is almost invariably uttered when clients attempt to tell me why they’re still in a troubled relationship. (I always ask why people have continued these involvements, as their answers can be […]
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Unsolicited Advice Column
DON’T GIVE UP YET
“Dear Dr. Doss, I am 19 years old and currently living alone right now. I live in Texas, but I’m originally from California (where I’d rather be). For several years since I moved to Texas- around my freshman year of high school- I’ve felt like my family has… drifted apart. I’ve heard that that’s normal… […]
IN PRAISE OF FOSTER PARENTS
Lately, foster parents have been getting really bad press, what with cases like Jerry Sandusky molesting the foster kid he adopted. The foster system isn’t always pretty. There certainly are bad people in the system and some are just trying to get money, housing foster kids for the cash, but I feel the need to point out that […]
DRIVE OR DRIFT?
You’re a grown up now. You don’t have summers off to swim and play and now you have to find your own path. So do you drift or drive?When college graduates get a degree and move out into the world, they often have big debt, but no real direction. This is difficult, considering the job […]
DON’T BE A SIDELINE DAD
We all know that parenting is a very difficult job, but its not very commonly addressed that moms have a bigger role than dads. In previous eras, some moms stayed home and focused on keeping house and parenting the children in the families. Dads made the money and meted out discipline, as in “Just wait […]
NEVER SATISFIED?
In our culture, it’s a common belief that being satisfied is a bad thing. We equate this with not having initiative or with being lazy, but personal satisfaction has many more benefits than risks. Being satisfied with the accomplishments you have doesn’t have to indicate that you’re not still yearning and seeking new and exciting […]
FAIL-SAFE KIDS
Hi Dr, I am from India, am going through a real tough time now with my family and spouse. I could not make any decision and am totally confused. Can you please help me providng some suggestion. * Dear India, Since you didn’t mention what issues you’re dealing with, I can only address your struggle […]
IF HE’S NOT LEFT HIS WIFE…
“I dated a wonderful guy. He proposed and, while I initially accepted, I later gave him back his ring. After 3 years of trying to be patient with his views on his finances, I left the relationship. In the beginning he was living in a basement of a female he ‘knew’, but once we started […]
I DON’T WANT TO KNOW….
The parents of adult children often come to see me in great distress over the choices their children are making. They usually want me to convince their kids of the error of their ways and I get this. These parents have lived longer and often have seen that some choices lead only to heartbreak. The harsh […]
DON’T WANT TO BE A MOTHER?
“I am a 59 year-old mother of 2 adult children–a son who is 31 and a daughter, 28. I have 2 adult step-children and 6 grandchildren. I have a good relationship with all my kids, except for one. My son who I desperately want a relationship with. When my son was 6, his father and […]