Parenting is a challenging, at times thankless job, but you’re not there to make life easier for your kids. Your job as a parent is to love them and prepare them to fly on their own. Love is a tricky concept, meaning different things to different people, but the big definition is that loving means […]
For many people, competition is fun. We join table tennis and card game groups and love to root for the home team. In relationships, however, winning takes on a new meaning. I’ve often heard individuals say with confidence–and no irony–that they always win in relationship conflicts. This is a little disturbing because if one individual is […]
Recently, the number of individuals seeking help for anxiety has risen. Some professionals advocate a combination of drug therapy–some say necessary for a life time–and psychotherapy. I have a problem with anything being “for a life time.” Anxiety medications also have a limited effect for many. There are some major psychiatric disorders for which we’ve […]
People do evil things because they don’t seem evil to them. This is about as far as we can go to understanding the mindset because it’s largely irrational. The people on the German plane didn’t deserve to die. As far as we know, none did horrible things to others and yet they were killed. Evil. […]
This reality is a source of power in our relationships. It’s what makes us both crave and hate relationships. If you’ve ever done any kind of partner dancing–ballroom, western or just shuffling together to music–you already know how relationships work. When your partner or you moves, the other person is affected. Unavoidably. Sometimes this is a great affect; sometimes not. Relationships […]
Going to therapy and talking to a total stranger about very personal things in your life? You deserve a medal for that. Even more so if you go in seeking assistance for a couple issue, because that’s even more difficult. I’ve had clients tell me that they worry their therapist will side completely with their […]
Tell me, did you know at twelve or fourteen what you wanted to do for your life career? Kids are now asked this routinely in middle schools because the administration wants to direct them into the “right track.” Those who say they want to be mechanics or heating and air conditioning technicians are put in […]
The really great news is that no one is more important to your kids than you. I know it doesn’t always seem this way, particularly if you have teens. Your kids care a lot more what you think that they let you know. Just ask the adult children around you who are still trying to impress […]
Of all the behaviors parents tell me they’re annoyed by, I’m most confused by the “backtalk” complaint. I think this generally refers to kids smarting off and giving parents a hard time, often over simple requests. I get that. This behavior is very annoying to deal with, but I think we need to find a better way to […]
I am the last parent to tell you to let your kids fly on their on…. Really. I have daughters in medical residency and in internship to complete a Ph.D. in psychology. Their father and I have moved them a total of 20 times since high school–I recently counted. I know what is it to […]