“I have 2 sons and a daughter. My oldest son is married 10 years with 3 kids. His oldest is a step-daughter, who’s 15. He also has 2 younger sons, ages 10 and 5. When my daughter came to visit recently, I tried to spend as much time with her as I could. She invited my daughter-in-law to go shopping […]
Lots of couples come to see me when their relationships have been in trouble for a long while. When I ask why they are still together, couples sometimes readily say they still love one another. Some couples, however, admit they just hate giving up.Confronting relationship problems isn’t fun, particularly when they’ve experienced a lot of failure and nothing […]
Sometime around the high school years, kids realize that they are growing up–and it usually scares the crap out of them. Some kids sail through this phase, seeming impervious to the great responsibilities that come with adulthood, but most hit the wall with a real bang. Growing up scares the heck out of them.If you’ve […]
“How can I expect one to treat me with respect and dignity when its not possible for this person to feel empathy or understand what lack of respect does to the other person. Or should I expect it?” * Dear Unrespected, It sounds like you’re dating or married to a psychopath. If […]
“My father has admitted to having an affair with a woman a few years ago. At the time, my mother was very upset and even threatened to leave, but somehow they worked it out. However, he still seems to be seeing this woman. They talk on the phone for hours at a time, he visits […]
The only way your kids can trust you is if you follow-through on what you tell them. This goes directly to them feeling safe with you. After all, they’re young and small and they depend on you. They need to feel sure that you will take care of them and that means that you’ll do what you say.In the old […]
Have you ever said you just want to get back to how we used to be or that you want a totally fresh start with your partner, like pushing a reset button? Sadly, trying to develop amnesia about problems between the two of you doesn’t work–at least not long term.I often hear people express the desire […]
Tomorrow, a child of mine is graduating medical school. All through her academic process–valedictorian of her small high school, cum laude graduate in biology from college, a masters in medical science and then medical school–people have been commenting on how proud of her I must be.I have a problem with that word–proud–and I realize this […]
Sometimes parenting sucks, but sometimes it’s the most glorious part of being human. In holiday gift-giving expenditures, Mother’s Day ranks fourth behind Christmas, Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. Father’s Day falls a sad sixth in spending, coming after Easter. This may be only a rough indication of the involvement of mothers versus fathers, but we tend to put our money […]
This is pay-back, pure and simple. A version of “you hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you.” Be very careful if you’re thinking along these lines. I totally get that having a mate–the person closest to you–cheat on you hurts like hell. In that distressed moment, you want to lash out, to make your lover […]