When you were a kid, you developed coping skills. You were small and poorly-equipped for dealing with many of life’s challenges and you did the best you could. Whether you hid and avoided risky, conflicted situations or met them swinging and got into a bunch of fights, you did your best to survive. Even if […]
Everyone screws up sometimes. Most people screw up over and over, and this doesn’t have anything to do with how smart they are. When it comes to relationships, even the most intelligent people sometimes make goofy choices or say things they don’t really mean or do stuff they shouldn’t do. It happens. The most important […]
Going for the job you want, but are afraid you won’t get. Sticking by your word and following-through on difficult, but educational consequences for your kid. Actually asking for—and listening to—your mate’s feedback on what you do that makes him/her crazy. Standing up for what you believe, even when it’s unpopular and may lose you […]
Don’t be too harsh with yourself. While you are aren’t perfect, you aren’t horrible, either. You’re actually a lot more capable than you think. Self-image is a difficult area for most. You probably started of life with some glaring inaccuracies—things your parents said(whether they meant these to be taken to heart or not), things you […]
Your heart starts pounding, you feel sick to your stomach and you wonder if you’re having a heart attack. You rush to the Emergency Room…and the physicians rule out a cardiac event. This is a relief, but you wonder what the heck happened. Something happened, for sure. The medical personnel may tell you that you […]
Yes, you’ve done some stupid things. You’ve even been vindictive and mean-spirited. Sometimes, you get really, really angry, and you may strike out at those who’ve hurt you. None of this makes you a bad person. It makes you human. Badness is a choice that becomes ingrained over multiple actions. You have to work at […]
When life is complicated and challenging, it’s natural to want someone to rely on. Someone to believe in. Someone who can make things better. You want someone to save us from the bad, scary things, but you need to be careful. Focusing on heroes can sometimes keep us on-lookers in life, rather than participants. During […]
Forgiving an offense or a breach of relationship can be healing to the victim, but rushing into forgiveness doesn’t make the hurt go away. It just goes underground and you still struggle to move forward with your life. Hatred and rage damage the person harboring those feelings. Going forward from that experience is important, but […]
Rage is ugly, but maybe the problem isn’t your anger. Emotion is a vital part of being human. You need to feel happiness, sadness, anxiety and, even, anger—emotion is part of the weather system of our inner worlds. If you punch holes in walls, though, or scare your significant other when you’re mad, anger can […]
Loving another person can be the hardest challenge in your life, particularly when the one you love—a mate, a child, or a friend—is making difficult choices. When these choices are positive in that person’s life, you cheer. When the choices are destructive, though, you can have a range of emotions that threaten to tear you […]