When my husband was recently headed out on a bicycle ride with a friend, the guy remembered they’d gotten thirsty on their last ride. Without going to ask his wife, he unstrapped two bottle holders from her bicycle and put them on his and my husband’s bikes. When my husband made a comment that this […]
How can the person you’ve built a life with be so annoying? Being in a couple can be exciting, fulfilling and annoying. If only the jerk would listen. Yes, couple counseling can be very helpful, but don’t wait too late. The most important aspect of being a couple is being able to resolve issues. All […]
I’ve written many blogs about the importance of communication and of listening to your mate, but even when you try your best to listen, it’s not always seen that way. Just ask your partner. So, I thought I’d break this down into some small, vital chunks. When you and your mate disagree on something—money, sex, […]
“When I was 18 my mother went to prison and I took custody of my younger sisters. I tried to show them the right way to live–working, doing the right thing, staying out of trouble and being contributing members of society. We lived together for 6 years. Eventually Mother got out and the girls went back […]
Being part of a couple is one of the hardest things to do on this earth. Naturally, there are glitches and we love to help with these. We’ve been doing the couple thing for a long time and we know many of the pitfalls, as well as, the blessings of being connected to a mate who […]
Listening doesn’t mean offering your opinion, but that’s what most of us do. When clients tell me they’ve listened to their mates or children and then told them what to do, I know the mate or child probably didn’t feel heard at all. Clients tell me all the time about their frustration in trying to sort […]
Sidle up here and listen closely. You may have lots of stuff going on in your relationship, but most couples who I see have some general themes. While there are women who want more sex from their husbands, it’s more often the reverse. Despite these having shifted some, the sex roles in our society are […]
I’ve been married for 35 years and I still like him, which I think gives me the right to discuss this topic, even if I weren’t a therapist. Just to be clear, you can love a person and not like him, so the liking part is pretty darned good. Valentine’s Day is the time of […]
When I got a fun, new car, a friend asked me for to take him for a ride in it. I did this, but it simply didn’t occur to me to offer to let him drive. I’m like that sometimes–clueless. I loved that others enjoyed the car, but it just didn’t occur to me to […]
No one wants to talk about power issues in a relationship, but these are typically present and can cause issues if not addressed. When individuals fall in love, they usually don’t want to look at the nuts and bolts of issues. When they’re focusing on riding off into the sunset together, talking about problems that […]