Some say it’s a relief to be alone after a terrible relationship ends, but most don’t feel this way. Many people–in all walks of life–barely wait for their current relationships to be declared dead before they sign up for an on-line dating site or head out to the bars. It’s like a relay race where […]
The importance of forgiving your enemies is getting lots of attention these days, but it’s harder to forgive those who are not your enemies. Injury or betrayal by a loved one is much more painful. And what’s with the “forgetting” thing? Is it good to forget about an offense done to you? Do you have […]
“My husband and I have been married a little over a year. We don’t fight a lot, but when we do, it’s terrible. A yr ago, we got into a couple of knock-down drag-outs where he called me ugly names and insulted me cruelly. I slapped him twice. He quickly let me know that this […]
Lots of couples come to see me when their relationships have been in trouble for a long while. When I ask why they are still together, couples sometimes readily say they still love one another. Some couples, however, admit they just hate giving up.Confronting relationship problems isn’t fun, particularly when they’ve experienced a lot of failure and nothing […]
“How can I expect one to treat me with respect and dignity when its not possible for this person to feel empathy or understand what lack of respect does to the other person. Or should I expect it?” * Dear Unrespected, It sounds like you’re dating or married to a psychopath. If […]
Have you ever said you just want to get back to how we used to be or that you want a totally fresh start with your partner, like pushing a reset button? Sadly, trying to develop amnesia about problems between the two of you doesn’t work–at least not long term.I often hear people express the desire […]
This is pay-back, pure and simple. A version of “you hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you.” Be very careful if you’re thinking along these lines. I totally get that having a mate–the person closest to you–cheat on you hurts like hell. In that distressed moment, you want to lash out, to make your lover […]
Whether or not you leave a dysfunctional relationship is completely your decision. No one has the right to tell you what to do, no matter how close they are to you or what kind of degrees they have.Not long ago, I was contacted by a man who was angry because his ex-girlfriend claimed that I’d […]
What do you do when it doesn’t seem like the person you’re talking to is listening?Every one of us has had a situation in which we didn’t feel heard. People often talk of communication problems, but what we normally do when we don’t feel understood or when we’re angry is to raise our voices. We […]
Infidelity rips relationships up and recovery is difficult. Some people walk away from situations where someone has cheated, unable or unwilling to continue once trust has been broken. Others stay for a variety of reasons. This is a very personal choice and no one but the parties involved get to vote on whether the relationship continues. […]