The parents of adult children often come to see me in great distress over the choices their children are making. They usually want me to convince their kids of the error of their ways and I get this. These parents have lived longer and often have seen that some choices lead only to heartbreak. The harsh […]
“I am a 59 year-old mother of 2 adult children–a son who is 31 and a daughter, 28. I have 2 adult step-children and 6 grandchildren. I have a good relationship with all my kids, except for one. My son who I desperately want a relationship with. When my son was 6, his father and […]
When you were a small child, you may have had a mother or grandmother who offered to kiss your boo-boos to make them all better. Now that you’re grown up, you might wish it were that simple. When you love someone, you want to help them through difficulties even when you could scream about all […]
Lying is typically a way for the less-powerful to respond to the more-powerful, so most kids will lie. They’re smaller and less powerful than you and they need you to survive. They also love you and don’t want you mad at them, so yes, they lie. As a parent, this is a challenging situation. You […]
It’s not at all uncommon for parents to talk with me about what they consider their parenting failures, moments when they’ve been bad parents. Don’t get me wrong here, some people really do make awful parents and some are actively harmful to their offspring. But these are the exception. I’ve said it before–parenting is one […]
This may seem like an abstract subject to some, but how you view yourself is very important and we’re confused about the subject. High self-esteem is good. Don’t let yourself doubt this, no matter who says you should think you’re a worm. (Actually earthworms are pretty important!) You need to see your good points–the aspects […]
Clients frequently come into counseling, reporting problems with their mates, but saying that they need to fix themselves first. Then they plan to work on the relationship. Individual therapy is certainly your right and you can be as private in this as you like. Coming alone is sometimes a relief to people because they can […]
“For about 4 years now, my parents have been divorced. 3 years ago, my father found a new girlfriend, however my 3 siblings and I only really found out about her a couple of years ago. At first, it was like any new girlfriend-of-the-father relationship. She seemed ‘cool’, was nice and not intrusive. However, as […]
You may have bad habits and irritating tendencies, but you’re probably pretty good at most stuff. Unfortunately, most of us don’t notice the things we’re good at. Even if we have friends and family cheering on the sidelines, our tendency is to shrug this off because they love us. Even individuals who would be considered […]
Being the parent of a child isn’t the same thing as having an child who is an adult. The role shifts.The professionals and researchers tell us that parents are too involved these days, even coining the phrase “helicopter parent” for parents who hover over their children. There are lots of people to tell you how […]